1-Films and computer games which contain violence are very popular. Some people believe they have a negative effect on society and so should be banned. Other people, however, say they are just harmless and help people to relax. Discuss both these points of view and your opinion

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Thriller genre
movies
and online
games
that encompass aggression and graphic
content
have always been
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the centre of popularity for many
people
. Whilst certain individuals claim that
this
content
will produce negative results on the members of the societies and should be hindered,
people
with opposite view
content
that they do not pose a threat to our society, but rather alleviate
audiance's
Correct your spelling
audience's
tention
Correct your spelling
tension
and stress. I personally uphold the view that undoubtedly, some
people
may get negatively impacted as a direct result of consuming
this
content
,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
I am against a total ban
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since exerting partial restrictions is
more
Add an article
a more
the more
show examples
prudent choice. On the one hand, as we live
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the edge of technology,
people
spend the majority of their time in front of computers,
more
Correct word choice
and more
show examples
and more
people
spend their time with
movies
and
games
that contain plenty amount of
violance
Correct your spelling
violence
. Some viewer discretion advised
movies
might
treumatize
Correct your spelling
traumatise
the viewership especially the ones that are considered underaged. Consequentially, depending on the
sensivitity
Correct your spelling
sensitivity
on
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of
show examples
the
content
,
people
might gravitate towards a wrong perception of reality that might
also
be perilous. To illustrate, an
imfamous
Correct your spelling
infamous
online game called the Blue Whale has
brough
Correct your spelling
brought
about the death of many underaged users by preparing them for a
suicade
Correct your spelling
suicide
scenario in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
virtual reality in order for them to
committe
Correct your spelling
commit
a suicide attempt.
On the other hand
,
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
certain individuals find a great relief in playing
games
and streaming videos with explicit
content
. Just because some underaged youngsters are going to misbehave following
by
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apply
show examples
a +18 gameplay or a movie night, there should not be a ban
over
Change preposition
on
show examples
these types of entertainment.
For example
, everyone is entitled to have their own taste in
movies
and
games
,
therefore
, some individuals are indulging in ones with more graphic
content
to boost their adrenaline and bring a bit
movement
Change preposition
of movement
show examples
into their
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
. In conclusion, despite the popularity of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
types of
movies
and
games
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
be considered dangerous for susceptible youngsters, I still believe that a partial ban or imposing an age restriction based on the genre of
content
will benefit both sides.
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

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coherence cohesion
Work on creating a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the ideas progress smoothly from one paragraph to the next.
coherence cohesion
Include both an introduction and a conclusion to frame your essay effectively. Your introduction should clearly state the points that you will discuss, and your conclusion should succinctly summarize your arguments and state your personal opinion.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more specific examples. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing. Avoid general statements without backing them up with evidence or examples.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully responds to all parts of the task. Cover all aspects of the question, provide a balanced discussion of both views, and clearly state your own opinion.
task achievement
Present clear and comprehensive ideas in each paragraph. It's important that your arguments are well thought out and clearly expressed so that the reader can easily understand your point of view.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. This will help give your essay more impact and make your arguments more relatable. Avoid using vague or poorly connected examples that do not directly support your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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