Recently, People have many environmental issues and this cause variety of illnesses. What protection government or society should take

#people #variety #illnesses #protection #government #society

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In today's world environment getting polluted day by day and individuals are not aware that pollution will bring a variety of illness First of all, Consuming

all natural

Add a hyphen

all-natural

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habitat sources is causing environmental degradation.

Thus

Linking Words

, nature stopped producing new biodiversity. Deforestation decreases green energy potential and

this

Linking Words

affects people's health.

In other words

Linking Words

, every tree

that is

Linking Words

cutted

Correct your spelling

cut

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by people

Remove the comma

apply

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turns out apperance of new diseases.

In addition

Linking Words

, using extra cars emits poisoned gasses, so tackling

this

Linking Words

issue undeniable circumstance.

Additionally

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, there is another big risk which is urban sprawl and

this

Linking Words

causes a changing ecosystem that

also

Linking Words

pollutes biodiversity.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, over-utilization

such

Linking Words

as building new industrial areas,new cars,buildings, and much more combat natural areas, and

affects

Correct subject-verb agreement

affect

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community respiration. When people respirate they get all poisoned air

instead

Linking Words

of fresh air,

Hence

Linking Words

, society has to face many unknown illnesses. To protect our nature, the government should implement new regulatory standards which protect individuals and the environment.

For instance

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, some countries support many companies to use renewable energies like sun energy,and wind energy that limit carbon footprint. Using sustainable energies lessens emissions and combustion which protects from pollution. The government has to ban the usage of non-biodegradable sources.

To sum up

Linking Words

, On

the

Correct article usage

apply

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earth, communities are the reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

all of

this

Linking Words

deforestation and pollution. We may reduce the effects of

this

Linking Words

utilization by using and offering new renewable energies which is crucial to have a better life. As a

human-being

Correct your spelling

human being

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, we should have changed our mindset to be aware that nature is a living habitat

Submitted by nurullahgultekin3451 on Wed Jan 03 2024

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Task Achievement

The essay attempts to answer the question, yet fails to address the scope of governmental and societal protection methods comprehensively. It should provide a more direct and detailed explanation of the actions that can be taken, as well as the impact and necessity of these measures.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay structure shows room for improvement. Linking words have been utilized; however, the progression of ideas could be more logical. A clearer introduction, more cohesive paragraphs, and a concise conclusion could enhance the overall cohesion of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

257 words

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Recently, People have many environmental issues and this cause variety of illnesses. What protection government or society should take

Fully explain your ideas

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their and attention to studying for qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some think that residents should responsible for keeping their areas clean and tidy, while others say it is the government's responsibility. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

In a public-funded healthcare system, people who are willing to pay for the best and fast treatment should be able to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers , are leaving their own poor countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. to what extent do you agree or disagree ?