Some peopel believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes ( for example working for a charity, umproving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger childern. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Volunteer
work
is becoming common in most countries around the world. One group of people supports the idea of making volunteer work
mandatory among pupils who are in their senior year. Although
other groups of people say that it would put extra pressure on students
, aside from their studies, I firmly believe that unpaid activities should be included in the school
curriculum as students
will develop new skills at an early age.
It is highly important that education should teach young boys and girls not only about academic studies but also
human values such
as helping the poor and elderly, sharing knowledge with those who are deprived of it and so on. Furthermore
, these traits should be nurtured during their childhood days because as they grow up they might lose interest in paying attention to these essential qualities. For instance
, it is compulsory for high school
children
in the USA to take part in social work
and one of the surveys shows that these pupils are compassionate towards others. Therefore
, school
curriculums must be enhanced to include unpaid community
services
so that children
develop humane values which are vital to society.
On the contrary
, it is undeniable that these acts require some physical health which may not be the same for all students
. In addition
, some children
may not have enough strength to spend the whole day working in a neighbourhood since they are not physically fit. For example
, a group of students
in Australia suffered from dehydration while
they went to public work
outside. Thus
, considering these health aspects, the inclusion of community
services
as a subject in high schools is a debatable topic.
To sum up
, even though community
services
help children
to develop good character traits, these require physical abilities which may not be similar for all children
. However
, from my point of view, unpaid community
services
should be made compulsory in high school
programmes in order to build qualitative personalities and thereby a better society.Submitted by namitabhoj1610 on
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Task Achievement
While the essay addresses the prompt well, it can further develop the counterargument by providing more details or examples. For instance, consider discussing alternative solutions for students who aren't physically fit to participate in community service.
Coherence & Cohesion
Logical transitions between paragraphs are important. Ensure each paragraph connects seamlessly with the preceding and following paragraphs to improve overall coherence.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay occasionally repeats similar ideas. Try to introduce a new aspect or perspective in each sentence or paragraph to maintain the reader's interest and strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the argument well.
Task Achievement
The main points are logically structured and supported by relevant examples, such as the mention of high school children in the USA and the dehydration incident in Australia.
Language & Vocabulary
The language and vocabulary used are appropriate for an academic essay. It shows a strong command of the English language.