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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

People feel that educational success is dependent on having a good teacher, others say it depends on the attitude of the student. Discuss both side and state your opinion*

#people #success #teacher #attitude #student #side #opinion*
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Many individuals agree that a good
teacher
Use synonyms
 has a major impact on a student's education. Some beg to differ and agree that an individual's education
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 solely based on the student's eagerness to learn. I will state my views on
this
Linking Words
 essay below. The most significant aspect
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 education is the process of learning. Learning involves receiving knowledge and
inisghts
Correct your spelling
insights
 from various sources
such
Linking Words
 as
Use synonyms
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
,
literatures
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literature
kinds of literature
pieces of literature
works of literature
show examples
,
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 and many more. Many believe that experience is the best
teacher
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 and
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 act of learning is not limited to only just studying with a
teacher
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
 they agree that the involvement of
Use synonyms
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 in
one
Use synonyms
's educational success is not truly significant.
However
Linking Words
, most individuals agree that studying with a
teacher
Use synonyms
 is the most effective form of learning and that most knowledge
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
recieved
Correct your spelling
received
 through studies in school rather
from
Correct word choice
than from
show examples
 experience. Some individuals are not able to learn properly without
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proper
assistant
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assistance
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 from a
teacher
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. Most subjects are
also
Linking Words
 simply difficult to learn individually without guidance from someone who
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 professional and educated.
Hence
Linking Words
, the presence of a great
teacher
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 is highly significant to their studies.
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, I believe that even a great
teacher
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 not capable
to impact
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of impacting
show examples
 someone
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 refuses to learn.
One
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also
Linking Words
 cannot obtain knowledge from their experience, if they refuse to learn from it.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is important to emphasize that learning involves
one
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 side who
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 willing to learn and
one
Use synonyms
 side
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 willing to give.
Submitted by audiareina on

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Task Achievement
Ensure you address all parts of the task with a balanced approach. While you have presented a discussion looking at both sides, your personal opinion could be clearer and more thoroughly supported with clear, relevant examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize ideas clearly into paragraphs, and ensure each paragraph has a central topic that is developed. Use a range of cohesive devices to manage the progression of your essay more effectively. The essay requires a better-defined structure for it to flow naturally.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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