IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Air pollution is the most important concern of many countries. What are the main causes and effects of this issue?

#air #pollution #concern #countries #effects
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The alarming increase in the level of
air
 pollution has become a severe issue in most nations. There are several reasons why
air
 gets polluted and its effects will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs. The primary cause that initiates
this
 issue is the swift change in the preference of people leaning towards private vehicles. A significant number of cars can be seen on the roads these days contributing to
air
 pollution by releasing dangerous gases into the surroundings. Another factor responsible is the widespread industrialization. The factories produce poisonous chemicals during the manufacturing process of products.
For example
, in order to generate energy, fossil fuels are burnt which emits carbon dioxide and mix in the
air
.
Also
, forestland is converted into industries which
further
 increases the pollution to a greater extent. Considering the effects, there is a severe impact of
this
 on the environment. There is a considerable rise in the heat on the earth which gives rise to global warming.
For example
, in Antarctica, the melting of ice cubes is the consequence of
release
Add an article
the release
show examples
 of
air
 fumes.
Moreover
, it poses a serious threat to living beings which could lead to health ailments
such
 as lung cancer, kidney problems and other chronic diseases.
To sum up
,
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of automobiles and
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
show examples
 number of industries are the causes and effects
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
felt in terms of
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 and individual suffering.
Submitted by mtarun663 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph within your essay has a clear central topic that is developed, rather than listing multiple causes or effects without expansion.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by using a wider range of cohesive devices and topic-specific vocabulary to link ideas more naturally throughout the essay.
task achievement
Aim to write a more developed conclusion that not only summarizes the points raised but also presents a final deduction or suggestion based on the argument.
task achievement
Support your main points with a more detailed explanation, analysis, and concrete examples to improve the depth of your response.
coherence cohesion
For a higher score, include a wider variety of sentence structures and demonstrate control over grammatical structures and punctuation.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: