In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
World news has told us that fast
food
a common Use synonyms
snacks
is really popular and well-known to everyone at Correct the article-noun agreement
snack
this
present Linking Words
time
. But it Use synonyms
also
gives us lots of Linking Words
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
of
Change preposition
about
people
's diseases which Use synonyms
caused
Add a missing verb
are caused
from
that kind of Change preposition
by
foods
: Fix the agreement mistake
food
overweight
, heart disease,... And an idea for "should Add a missing verb
being overweight
goverments
impose Correct your spelling
governments
government
high
tax Add an article
a high
for
Change preposition
on
the
junk Correct article usage
apply
food
?" Now, I will give my own view about Use synonyms
this
case.
Linking Words
Firstly
, my positive view about Linking Words
this
idea, Linking Words
there
are many advantages for Add a missing verb
is there
people
when they get higher Use synonyms
tac
for fast Correct your spelling
tax
food
. Use synonyms
First,
Linking Words
people
ensure all main meals in the day and avoid Use synonyms
to be stored
too much waste nutrions like protein, fat, Wrong verb form
storing
cholesterol
, Correct word choice
and cholesterol
that
makes Correct pronoun usage
which
people
Use synonyms
easy
to control their weight and size. It Correct word choice
apply
also
Linking Words
improve
Change the verb form
improves
Use synonyms
people
health,Change noun form
people's
protect
their Correct subject-verb agreement
protects
body
from fast Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
Use synonyms
food's
Change noun form
food
dieases
and Correct your spelling
diseases
disease
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
about
nutrious in Change preposition
with
body
, it is important and reasonable for Correct article usage
the body
people
Use synonyms
nowaday
. Correct your spelling
nowadays
Next,
it can save our Linking Words
moeny
Correct your spelling
money
of
"bad" fast Change preposition
from
food
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
people
balance their Use synonyms
meal
more Fix the agreement mistake
meals
healthy
and effectively by main rich Change the word
healthily
nutrious
products fish, milk, eggs, pork and beefCorrect your spelling
nutritious
..
It improves our Replace the punctuation
.
...
life
to be Fix the agreement mistake
lives
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
fresh
and Replace the word
fresher
strong
.
Replace the word
stronger
Secondly
, about the negative aspects, fast Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
seem
to be Change the verb form
seems
teenager's
and Change noun form
teenagers'
lacked
of Change the form of the verb
lack
time
Use synonyms
people
's Use synonyms
food
just because of the Use synonyms
convinience
and mostly cheap. If Correct your spelling
convenience
goverments
increase the tax, it Correct your spelling
governments
government
caused
some Wrong verb form
causes
problem
with some types of Fix the agreement mistake
problems
people
in society. Use synonyms
First,
there are Linking Words
less
teenagers Change the quantifier
fewer
can
enjoy their "quick" Correct pronoun usage
who can
meal
to on Fix the agreement mistake
meals
time
at school or work, or less "small"Use synonyms
meal
for Fix the agreement mistake
meals
people
for their busy Use synonyms
time
. Use synonyms
As well as
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
many
fast Replace the quantifier
much
Use synonyms
food
is a traditional Change to a plural noun
foods
food
of Use synonyms
country
which shows Correct article usage
the country
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
cultural
and Replace the word
culture
foods'
styles that customers or tourists can't really enjoy Change noun form
foods
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
with
a taxed price. It caused some Change preposition
at
problem
to Fix the agreement mistake
problems
Use synonyms
people
daily Change noun form
people's
life
and eating Fix the agreement mistake
lives
habitat
, maybe it Correct your spelling
habits
impact
Wrong verb form
impacted
to
the tradition too.
There are two sides of my view, and my Change preposition
apply
conclution
is about.I'm Correct your spelling
conclusion
little
Correct article usage
a little
disgaree
with Correct your spelling
disagree
this
idea because I think that not by using the higher tax, Linking Words
people
can Use synonyms
also
consume fast Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
effectly
by cutting down slowly that Correct your spelling
effectively
food
in Use synonyms
your
eating habit and improve more Correct pronoun usage
their
nutrious
Correct your spelling
nutritious
meal
regularly. It Fix the agreement mistake
meals
also
Linking Words
give
us a Change the verb form
gives
health
life.Replace the word
healthy
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task achievement
Ensure a clear position throughout the response. It appears unclear in places, which can leave the reader confused about your overall stance on the given topic.
task achievement
Develop paragraphs fully to address the task prompt. Some paragraphs appear underdeveloped and do not fully explore the implications or nuances of imposing a higher tax on fast food.
task achievement
Include more relevant examples and supporting details to strengthen your arguments. This is essential for both agreeing and disagreeing with the statement.
coherence cohesion
Organize ideas and information clearly into well-planned paragraphs. Use a variety of cohesive devices to better link ideas within and across paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Pay close attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar. Errors can detract from the reader's ability to understand the points being made.
coherence cohesion
Begin and end the essay with clear introductory and conclusive statements. This frames the essay and gives the reader a clear indication of the essay structure and writer's position.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example