In many countries around the world,rural people are Moving to cities,so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Nowadays,many countries are dealing with
a significantly diminishing figures
of people living in the countryside,Correct the article-noun agreement
significantly diminishing figures
a significantly diminishing figure
while
the number of individuals moving to metropolises is rapidly increasing. Although
this
phenomenon has both positive and negative sides, I believe that its disadvantages outweigh the advantages,because of several conditions.
Firstly
,it cannot be denied,that urbanization has a huge impact on the development of economics. However
, the rural population is faced with crucial consequences,such
as a shortage of young generation and a lack of labour resources in villages. The most notable influence has been observed in agricultural and farming spheres, whereas
people of retirement age are not available to work effectively. Correct word choice
where
Hence
, the quality of food and organic products is sharply declining. Moreover
,there are some villages in Italy,France and Greece,that have completely disappeared due to
massive migration.
So the range of farming goods and nutritions
has Fix the agreement mistake
nutrition
worsen
.
Change the verb form
worsened
Secondly
, rising demand for higher salaries,better education and facilities,are the main reasons why people move to capitals. Therefore
,the population of big cities are becoming overcrowded and traffic congestions of roads,might be considered as a result
of this
tendency. Tackling with
carbon emissions and environmental issues is the most important problem of modern cities. Change preposition
apply
In addition
,poor air quality may provoke health problems and diseases like asthma, allergies or even lung cancer.
In conclusion, though relocation to urban areas has numerous merits, its negative drawbacks,for example
: a distinction between small towns,deterioration of healthy products and degradation of ecology,which leads to serious illnesses should be taken into consideration.Submitted by lazizaa0799 on
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples. Each idea you present should be fortified by a relevant example or a piece of evidence, which will help strengthen your argument and increase the essay's persuasiveness.
task achievement
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task achievement
Ensure your ideas are clear and appropriately elaborated upon. Use smooth transitions between them and make sure they contribute to your overall argument or point of view on the subject.
task achievement
Use specific examples to illustrate your points and make your essay more convincing. The examples should be pertinent and enhance the ideas you are presenting. Besides providing evidence for your statements, this also shows that you can think analytically.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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