Write about the following topic: Some people think that it's a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it's important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

While
some people believe that
socialise
Wrong verb form
socialising
show examples
with
colleages
Correct your spelling
colleagues
in out
Change preposition
outside
show examples
of working hours is important, others argue that working
life
completely
Add a missing verb
is completely
show examples
different from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
private
life
. I support the former view which I will explain in
this
essay. The advocate for the
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
working and social
life
argue that the
work
stress and conflict would
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
the private
life
.
In other words
, If
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social and
work
life
combined
Add a missing verb
are combined
show examples
the
work related
Add a hyphen
work-related
show examples
issues will
reflect
Wrong verb form
be reflected
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
leisure time.
For example
, If workmates are
doing
Verb problem
having
show examples
a party, there is
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
probability of discussions
divert
Wrong verb form
diverting
show examples
to the
work
issues, which may cause
boring
Replace the word
boredom
show examples
to the other attendees.
Submitted by ck.manshad on

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Introduction/Conclusion
To meet a higher band score, ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion. It is essential that you introduce both views in the introduction and indicate your own stance.
Logical Structure
Develop your essay logically, with clear progression and use of linking words. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that each of these ideas is expanded with explanation or examples.
Support/Main Points
You have provided an example to support your point, which is good. However, it would be beneficial to elaborate more on both views and provide more detailed examples for each.
Task Response
To fully respond to the task, you need to discuss both views comprehensively and give your own opinion. The essay needs to be expanded to cover these points sufficiently. Make sure to give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
Clarity of Ideas
Your ideas are somewhat clear but could be expressed more effectively for a higher band score. Work on clarity by making more direct statements and explaining your reasoning in greater detail.
Relevance of Examples
Make sure to give specific, relevant examples that directly support the main points you are discussing. Your current example could be expanded upon to illustrate your point more vividly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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