Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodworking should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family. To that extent do you agree or disagree?

#schools #focus #success #examinations #skills #cookery #school

In the modern era, a part of society agrees that the major motive of teaching institutions should be just to make peers pass their tests and score good marks as they believe that cookery, dressmaking and woodworking skills should be learnt by students from their parents.

While

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

others reject the notion and I

also

disagree with the primary viewpoint.

Therefore

, I will discuss both views in upcoming paragraphs

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

thus

will lead to a logical conclusion as well.

To begin

with, the most prominent reason to support my opinion is that every student inherits a different interest

therefore

, some of them might be weak in

subjects

such

as science, and mathematics but they have great cooking skills.

Hence

, academic institutions must encourage all kinds of

subjects

schools

this

could be helpful for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

low-scoring children to improve their grades.

Moreover

, if all the students have individual interests

then

, they all have separate future goals to be achieved in future.

Likewise

, if a class have 30 scholars

then

at least 10 of them may not have goals of becoming teachers, scientists or politicians but they have plans of becoming master chefs or maybe fashion designers. It is apparent to say, why many people want to teach other skills in

schools

to learners

along with

study materials.

Furthermore

, guardians

also

carry very hectic schedules as they

are indulged

Wrong verb form

indulge

show examples

in a rat race to earn money and they do not have enough free time to spend with juveniles

therefore

, they try to put their kids in the best

schools

in which, they should be able to learn each necessary skill of their life.

Besides

, if

subjects

related to woodwork or fashion designing are added to the school curriculum,

this

might result in a burden on the tutors

as well as

tutees because youngsters already have a lot of learning materials and adding more

subjects

to their schedule may lead to a situation of stress or depression for the school students. Needless, to say all these demerits stand in very good stead.

To conclude

according to

the extrapolation aforementioned above one can reach a logical result that the advantages of having skill

subjects

schools

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

instrumental indeed.

Nevertheless

, its potential drawbacks should not be overlooked either.

Submitted by ss6802125 on Thu Jan 04 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear structure in your essay by using a variety of linking words and clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. Present main points followed by supporting sentences, and avoid overly complex structures that interfere with clarity.

task achievement

Your response is on topic, but you could improve by more directly addressing the prompt in your thesis statement and throughout your essay. Make sure to provide more specific examples to support your main points and conclusively answer the question at the end.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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18Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

375 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodworking should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family. To that extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Many of the products we buy nowadays break or wear out very quickly. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this for manufacturers and the public?

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Schools have a limited amount if money to spend. Some people suggest that it should be spend on good teachers,while others say it should be spent for computers.discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some people think that schools should select students according to their academic abilities, while others believe that it is better to have students with different abilities studying together. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their work from home instead of working in offices every day. Working from home should be encouraged as it is good for workers and employers. Do you agree or disagree?