Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.

Most workers will get some
health
problems because they do not
exercise
either
while
working day or even in their leisure
time
. In my point of view, I totally agree with that statement because building
habits
like
exercise
is a good choice for them to avoid some
diseases
.
Furthermore
, doing some
exercise
can
also
keep our mental
health
. To start with, every worker has a schedule for their daily activities, including work in a place. They
also
have some
habits
in their lives.
However
, the habit perhaps
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
an effect on their body.
Hence
, building
habits
like
exercise
is a good way to avoid
diseases
.
For instance
, we have worked several times a day and consume junk food a lot.
As a result
, we get sick. To overcome
this
problem, it would be better if we change our
habits
by doing some exercises. If we are really busy, we can do it in our leisure
time
.
Finally
, it can
keep
Verb problem
protect
show examples
our body from
diseases
.
In addition
, doing
exercise
will have a positive impact on our mental
health
. We have to know that
exercise
can reduce stress after work for a long
time
. It
also
helps us to enjoy our lives.
For example
, every morning you will get up early and do
exercise
like jogging and breathing fresh air. It will help you to take your
time
before going to work.
Finally
, you can keep your mental
health
even if you have some problems. To
sump
Correct your spelling
sum
show examples
up, I completely believe that doing
exercise
either in the working day or in the leisure
time
is the best choice to keep our bodies from
health
problems.
However
,
this
habit can help us to prevent some
diseases
.
Besides
, it
also
reduces stress and maintains our mental
health
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introductory paragraph stating your position, followed by supportive paragraphs with distinct ideas, and a concluding paragraph summarizing your points.
coherence cohesion
Present your main points in a more structured way, each in its own paragraph with clear topic sentences and supporting details.
task achievement
Support your points with more specific examples and explanations to illustrate them effectively.
coherence cohesion
Write a more detailed conclusion, restating your position and summarizing the main points discussed in the essay.
task achievement
Focus on crafting clearer and more comprehensive ideas in each paragraph to fully address the essay topic.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to enhance the logical flow of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Time constraints
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Passive leisure activities
  • Workplace wellness programs
  • Active commuting
  • Subsidized
  • Public awareness
  • Health benefits
  • Incentivizing
  • Accessible public spaces
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