Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

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Some

individuals

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argue that state-of-the-art

technology

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is connecting

people

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However

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others

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believe that it could

also

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separate them from

others

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Although

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advanced

technology

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can make

individuals

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focus more on their personal devices, I agree that modernised conversation techniques will bring more benefits because

Correct pronoun usage

they

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can help

people

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when they are not allowed to talk

face to face

Add a hyphen

face-to-face

show examples

. On one hand,

people

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feel advanced technologies create distant relationships because they think

people

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are more focused on themselves and their social media rather than direct conversation. Take,

for example

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Correct pronoun usage

what

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often happens during the family dinner, which is a perfect moment for them to discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

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their personal matters.

However

Linking Words

, since each family member has their own cell

phones

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phone

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. They reluctantly talk to each other

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apply

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and decide to spend their time on their social media

while

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having a meal.

However

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, I do not think that novel communication technologies make humans apart because in some cases we still need to have direct conversations with

others

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especially when discussing urgent matters.

On the other hand

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others

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believe that the positive development of

technology

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can gather

individuals

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because they feel it can help

people

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to communicate even with different challenges and conditions.

For instance

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, the pandemic situation forced

individuals

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not to be involved in face-to-face communication.

However

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, with advanced video meeting platforms

such

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as Zoom,

people

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can still have a conversation or even conduct a scientific conference. I agree with

this

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thought because modernized

technology

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has proven to connect

people

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during the pandemic, rather than separate them In conclusion, even though modern

technology

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has some possibilities to make

people

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distant, my viewpoint supports the development of novel

technology

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. because it can provide long-distance communication that will bring

people

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together.

dwityawaskitoentThu Jan 04 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the scope of the essay and your thesis statement. Clarify that you will be examining both sides of the argument before presenting your opinion.

coherence cohesion

While supporting points, use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively to help the flow and clarity of the argument. This will enhance the logical structuring of your ideas.

task achievement

Expand on the examples provided by adding more specific details. This makes your argument more persuasive and provides a clearer understanding of your standpoint.

task achievement

Aim for a more balanced discussion of both views. Provide equivalent attention and development to each viewpoint before expressing your opinion to maintain objectivity and demonstrate a thorough consideration of the issue.

coherence cohesion

For a higher score, utilize a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures. This will show linguistic capability and better engagement with the reader.

coherence cohesion

Conclude the essay by summarizing both sides of the argument succinctly and restating your opinion. This reinforces the overall message and provides a clear resolution to the discussion.

coherence cohesion

Be cautious of grammatical errors and use a range of complex structures accurately to convey your points more effectively.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

connectivity
communicate
social media
virtual meetings
global community
isolation
distract
face-to-face interaction
personal connections
dependency
technology addiction
digital divide

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Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

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Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places?

Some people regard video games as useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

Some people believe that robots will play an important role in future societies, while others argue that robots might have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?