In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. Do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays,
people
have a longer life span compared to the past. Some people
say that turning to an ageing society causes some issues for governments, while
some people
believe that more ageing population can benefit their countries. I tend to think that the disadvantages have more impact than the advantages.
More
ageing population can benefit the younger generation in a mentorship way. They can give suggestions and teach the younger manners to retain their traditional culture. The elderly Add an article
A more
people
can create a good environment for the country
where they live from their experiences, they probably know what are good or bad things for the younger generation. For example
, In Japan, Japanese people
can retain their culture because they were taught by their parents or elderly members to be aware of the cultural value
.
Despite the advantages, Fix the agreement mistake
values
it is clear that
more ageing people
can make
a reduction in economic growth for the Verb problem
cause
country
. Most of them have
Unnecessary verb
apply
a
lack of ability to work because they are old, they are not strong or healthy enough to work like an adult. They tend to consider more what type of job Correct article usage
apply
that
they are able to do which leads to some industry to a lack of Correct pronoun usage
apply
labor
. Change the spelling
labour
For instance
, this
problem happens in Japan as well, Japan's economic growth has been declining for the last
ten years. Their
employment rate of adult or middle-aged Change the word
The
people
is quite low. Their industries do not have enough workers to do the jobs.
In conclusion, even though an ageing society is beneficial to the country
, such
as mentorship, there are still some negative issues that cause the country
's growth Fix the infinitive
to declines
declines
. Correct subject-verb agreement
decline
Therefore
, I believe that the drawbacks outweigh the advantages.Submitted by sahawat.ww on
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structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear overarching structure with an introductory paragraph, body paragraphs, and a concluding paragraph. Your introduction should provide a clear statement of your position in response to the essay question.
development
Develop paragraphs that each contain one main idea, supported by relevant examples or explanations. To achieve a higher score, these should be fully developed and clearly connected to the essay question.
cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices to link your ideas and sentences. However, avoid overuse and strive to use them correctly to ensure the essay flows well.
taskResponse
Fully address all parts of the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages equally. Support your arguments with specific examples and ensure that your conclusion summarizes your main points and clearly states your position on the issue.
development
To achieve a higher band score, it is important to not only state your ideas but also to fully extend and develop them. This means providing a more comprehensive explanation, elaboration, or illustration of your points that are directly relevant to the prompt.
examples
Incorporate more specific examples to illustrate your points. General statements are less effective than concrete, detailed examples and explanations in demonstrating your understanding and viewpoint.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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