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Writing Samples
Band 4

The process shows how sugar is manufactured from sugar cane

#process #sugar #cane
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The diagram depicts the step-by-step process outlining the transformation of
sugar
 cane into
sugar
.
Overall
,
sugar
-making is a linear,
inter-connected
Correct your spelling
interconnected
show examples
 process consisting of seven stages. The
producation
Correct your spelling
production
 of
sugar
 commences with the growing of crops and culminates with the drying and cooling of
sugar
.
Initially
, crops of
sugar
 cane
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 grown,
however
, it takes approximately 12-18 months to reach maturity. Following maturation, the crops can be harvested using two techniques. The first method involves utilising a machine to cut multiple canes simultaneously, whilst the second entails cutting down the canes individually. Subsequent to harvesting, the
sugar
 canes are put in a machine which crushes them in order to produce
juice
.
This
juice
 is put through a limestone filter for the purpose of purification. The next step involves placing the purified
juice
 in an evaporator which undergoes extreme heat to convert the
juice
 into syrup. Afterwards, the syrup is placed in a centrifuge to aid in the separation of
sugar
 crystals.
Finally
, the crystals are dried and cooled.
Submitted by kellyanne.henney on

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coherence cohesion
While the essay demonstrates a clear overall logical structure, try to present ideas in a more engaging way, linking them smoothly and varying your sentence structures to enhance readability.
task achievement
For task achievement, ensure that each stage of the process is clearly detailed. Inclusion of specific examples and data can further enrich the description, though it may be less applicable to process diagrams.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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