In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The disappearance of indigenous cultures and
festivals
has been increasingly happening. The root cause of
this
phenomenon is that most of the younger generation prefer to embrace modernity
instead
of preserving their ancestor’s traditions and how youth perceives
festivals
as an outdated and boring activity. In
this
essay, I will elaborate more about the possible solution to stop
this
because traditional carnivals and celebrations
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
be erased from society if
this
phenomenon keeps on happening. To elaborate on the reason behind the disappearance of carnival, western media consumption affects how youth perceive ancient culture as they tend to be nonchalant about it. Other than that, western celebrities
also
influence them to embrace modernity
instead
of contributing to extravagant events.
As a result
, young people do not have the self-belonging to hold a festival to preserve their ancient culture. The government and cultural organisations are in charge of continuing the legacy of the ancestors by arranging annual
festivals
and celebrating historical memorials,
such
as the Maulid Nabi event in Indonesia to celebrate the Prophet Muhammad’s
born day
Correct your spelling
birthday
show examples
.
In addition
, to raise people’s awareness of ancient celebrations, the government need to not only make amusing
festivals
and events which attract the citizens and youth to participate
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
teach the children about the nation’s history. In conclusion, the disappearance of
festivals
is caused by youth’s negligence and nonchalance from the consumption of modern media. To prevent
this
worsened phenomenon, society needs a festival held by the government as it will boost the participation of the citizens.
In addition
to that, schools should teach children about the importance of preserving the traditional event.
Submitted by pink panther on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure you have a clear logical structure. Paragraphs should be well-developed with clear main ideas, and there should be clear connections between them. Use linking words effectively to help guide the reader.
Coherence & Cohesion
Present a clear introduction and conclusion. Your introduction should clearly state the topic and your position on it. The conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points of the essay and restate your position.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with specific details or examples. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and you should use examples or evidence to support that point.
Task Achievement
Write a fully developed response to the task. It's important you address all parts of the question and clearly present your views. Extend and support your ideas with examples or explanations.
Task Achievement
Present clear, comprehensive ideas in each paragraph. Make sure your point is not only clear but also fully explained and developed. Avoid overly general statements.
Task Achievement
Use relevant, specific examples to illustrate your points. Your essay should include examples that are directly related to the questions asked or the points you're making.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traditional festivals
  • heritage
  • cultural identity
  • folklore
  • cultural tourism
  • intergenerational
  • homogenization
  • commercialization
  • intangible cultural heritage
  • community engagement
  • awareness
  • revitalize
  • cultural diversity
  • educational programs
  • governmental support
  • logistical support
What to do next:
Look at other essays: