IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, the government prioritises economic growth above all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

#countries #government #prioritises #growth #concerns
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In many countries, the
government
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 emphasizes economic development
above all
Linking Words
 other concerns. The benefits of
this
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 are it
increases
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 the annual
income
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 of the general public
,
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apply
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 and improves the
infrastructure
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 of a
country
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. The drawbacks are the other important
sectors
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 of a
country
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 experience neglect, and the
environment
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 gets polluted. One of the benefits of only prioritizing economic
growth
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 is it
increases
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 the annual
income
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 of the general public. If a
country
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 has
rich
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a rich
the rich
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economy
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, the
government
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 and other companies can pay good salaries to their employees, which
increases
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 the annual
income
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 and improves the lifestyles of citizens.
Moreover
Linking Words
, economic
growth
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 helps to improve the
infrastructure
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 of a
country
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. A
country
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 with
rich
Correct article usage
a rich
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economy
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 can provide modern facilities to its citizens
such
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 as developed roads and highways, high-rise buildings and many more.
For instance
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, since 2010, the
economy
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 of Bangladesh has started getting strong, and the
infrastructure
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 of the
country
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 especially the roads and highways has developed a lot. If the
government
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 only emphasizes economic
growth
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, the other important
sectors
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,
such
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 as healthcare, education, employment,
defense
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defence
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 and social justice experience neglect from the
government
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.
Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
These
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sectors
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also
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 require the same attention and monitoring from the
government
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 to function well.
In addition
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, the improvement of
Correct article usage
the
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economy
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 pollutes the natural
environment
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. Several industries and factories emit
carbon-dioxide
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carbon dioxide
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 and other harmful chemicals, which
pollutes
Correct subject-verb agreement
pollute
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air
Correct article usage
the air
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, water and
natural
Correct article usage
the natural
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environment
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.
For instance
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, the
government
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 of India has recently aimed for economic development to increase GDP
,
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apply
show examples
 and has established numerous factories to increase the production of clothing, which is severely polluting water. In conclusion, the benefits of only emphasizing economic
develoment
Correct your spelling
development
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 it
increases
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annual
Add an article
the annual
show examples
income
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 of the public
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and improves the
infrastructure
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 of a
country
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. The disadvantages of only prioritizing economic
growth
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is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 it pollutes the
environment
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, and the other important
sectors
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 of a
country
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 get
neglect
Wrong verb form
neglected
show examples
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
Work on integrating more specific examples and evidence to support your main points. This will enhance the clarity and strength of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Try to refine the logical structure by ensuring a seamless flow of ideas between paragraphs. This can often be achieved by utilizing more transitional phrases or connectors.
task achievement
The essay does well in presenting both the advantages and disadvantages of prioritizing economic growth, effectively addressing the question.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction that sets up the topic and a conclusion that summarizes the main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay is organized into paragraphs that tackle individual points, which helps in maintaining a logical flow.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • quality of life
  • standard of living
  • infrastructure development
  • employment opportunities
  • environmental impact
  • wealth disparity
  • modernization
  • sustainable development
  • Gross Domestic Product (GDP)
  • industrialization
  • ecological footprint
  • capital investment
  • urbanization
  • economic prosperity
  • fiscal policy
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