IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Should government spend more money on improving roads and highways, or should the government spend more money on improving public transportation?

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There is an argument about whether the government should improve
transportation
Use synonyms
 by spending more money constructing the
road
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 and highway system or
money
Correct word choice
whether money
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 should be used to enhance the quality of public
transportation
Use synonyms
. From my perspective,
although
Linking Words
 both (of these) methods have many positive impacts on
traffic
Use synonyms
, the government should prioritize the maintenance of
road
Use synonyms
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
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. On the one hand, it is undeniable that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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investment in public
transportation
Use synonyms
 has many economic, environmental and social advantages. First of all, travelling by means of public
transportation
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such
Linking Words
 as bus or subway is a way to save money and energy because of the economical ticket price and less fuel energy used.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the widespread use of public transit service helps alleviate (the)
traffic
Use synonyms
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
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 and air pollution
due to
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 the decrease in private vehicles and gas
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
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.
Finally
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, a high standard of public
transportation
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 will encourage people to use
such
Linking Words
 kind of transport more often.
This
Linking Words
 will lead to some social benefits
such
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 as the reduction of
traffic
Use synonyms
 crashes or the connection of
community
Correct article usage
the community
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.
On the other hand
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, it is perhaps more important to upgrade the existing
road
Use synonyms
 conditions. One of the main reasons is that
traffic
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 congestion could be solved if a nation possessed high-quality roads and highways because
this
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 makes the movement of vehicles more
fluently
Change the word
fluent
show examples
. Another reason is that keeping
Use synonyms
road
Correct article usage
the road
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 system to a good standard
also
Linking Words
 means improving
road
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 safety by bringing the number of
traffic
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 accidents down.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, a developed transport infrastructure will facilitate the growth of other economic sectors. To be specific, the transport of commodities between rural and urban areas can become more efficient and optimal owing to the improved
road
Use synonyms
 network. In conclusion, I can understand why people encourage their government to invest heavily in
public
Add an article
the public
a public
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 transit system, but it seems to me that building
national
Correct article usage
a national
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road
Use synonyms
 network to a high standard should be invested heavily because
this
Linking Words
 is a key infrastructure influencing the sustainable development of a nation.

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coherence cohesion
The essay should have a clear and logical structure, ensuring each paragraph seamlessly flows to the next. It is important to use a variety of cohesive devices appropriately to link ideas within and across paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are essential components and should clearly state the essay's position. You've included these, but make sure your conclusion reiterates your argument effectively and concisely.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with appropriate details and explanations. While you have done this, try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Complete the task by addressing all parts of the prompt. The response should demonstrate an understanding of the task, which you have, but ensure that you balance your arguments for both sides before reaching a conclusion.
task achievement
Present clear and comprehensive ideas in an organized manner. Your ideas should be clearly developed and comprehensive, with distinct paragraphs for each main point.
task achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to support your points. Examples enhance the argument and demonstrate a real-world understanding of the issue. Aim to integrate these effectively into your discussion.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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