IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Although you have never formally studied computing, you have always been interested in computers. You have just read about a computer course that really interests you, but it is only for people who have completed an elementary course. Write a letter to the college enrolment officer. In your letter explain why you are writing describe your circumstances ask if a special exception can be made for you so you can enrol in the course

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Dear Mam/Sir, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to enrol in a computer course named
advanced video editing skills
Correct your spelling
Advanced Video Editing Skills
show examples
 by using
p.c.
Correct your spelling
P.C.
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 which is going to be started
in
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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next semester. I would like to
take
Verb problem
be
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admission
Replace the word
admitted
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in
Change preposition
to
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this
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 course,
however
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, I
dont
Correct your spelling
do not
 have any basic knowledge about
pc
Correct your spelling
PCs
such
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 as
excel
Capitalize word
Excel
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 and
powerpoint
Correct your spelling
PowerPoint
. There are
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 reasons that I would like to join
this
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 course.
Firstly
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, I love to do photography especially wedding photos in which
computer
Correct article usage
the computer
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 is one of the main sources of help to show my best work. Apart from that, learning video editing
not
Add a missing verb
is not
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 only useful for saving my time but
also
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to store
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for storing
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 photographs for the future. I am wondering if there is any
chnace
Correct your spelling
chance
 to enrol in your upcoming session,
although
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, I read about the requirements that you
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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mentioned on your website namely understanding of basic skills.
Nevertheless
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, I am planning to join your morning class as well in which I can study
about
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apply
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microsoft
Change the capitalization
Microsoft
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. Thanks in advance. Hope to hear from you soon. Yours Faithfully, Gurpinder
kaur
Change the capitalization
Kaur
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Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure to provide a clear introduction of the situation before jumping into details to enhance coherence.
Task Achievement
Use a more formal and polite tone, especially when asking for consideration of special circumstances.
Coherence & Cohesion
The greeting should be more specific, address the letter to a specific position if possible, for example 'Dear Enrollment Officer', instead of 'Mam/Sir'.
Coherence & Cohesion
Check grammar and punctuation throughout the letter to improve clarity and formality.
Task Achievement
It would be beneficial to offer solutions or alternatives to showcase your determination to join the course, such as willingness to complete a preparatory course, if necessary.
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