You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Although you have never formally studied computing, you have always been interested in computers. You have just read about a computer course that really interests you, but it is only for people who have completed an elementary course. Write a letter to the college enrolment officer. In your letter explain why you are writing describe your circumstances ask if a special exception can be made for you so you can enrol in the course

#minutes #computers #computer #course #interests #people #college #enrolment #officer #circumstances #exception #enrol

Dear Mam/Sir, I am writing

this

letter to enrol in a computer course named

advanced video editing skills

Correct your spelling

Advanced Video Editing Skills

show examples

by using

p.c.

Correct your spelling

P.C.

show examples

which is going to be started

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

next semester. I would like to

take

Verb problem

show examples

admission

Replace the word

admitted

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

this

course,

however

, I

dont

Correct your spelling

do not

have any basic knowledge about

Correct your spelling

PCs

such

excel

Capitalize word

Excel

show examples

and

powerpoint

Correct your spelling

PowerPoint

. There are

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

reasons that I would like to join

this

course.

Firstly

, I love to do photography especially wedding photos in which

computer

Correct article usage

the computer

show examples

is one of the main sources of help to show my best work. Apart from that, learning video editing

not

Add a missing verb

is not

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only useful for saving my time but

also

to store

Change preposition

for storing

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photographs for the future. I am wondering if there is any

chnace

Correct your spelling

chance

to enrol in your upcoming session,

although

, I read about the requirements that you

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

mentioned on your website namely understanding of basic skills.

Nevertheless

, I am planning to join your morning class as well in which I can study

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

microsoft

Change the capitalization

Microsoft

show examples

. Thanks in advance. Hope to hear from you soon. Yours Faithfully, Gurpinder

kaur

Change the capitalization

Kaur

show examples

Submitted by buttargurpinder73 on Thu Jan 04 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Make sure to provide a clear introduction of the situation before jumping into details to enhance coherence.

Task Achievement

Use a more formal and polite tone, especially when asking for consideration of special circumstances.

Coherence & Cohesion

The greeting should be more specific, address the letter to a specific position if possible, for example 'Dear Enrollment Officer', instead of 'Mam/Sir'.

Coherence & Cohesion

Check grammar and punctuation throughout the letter to improve clarity and formality.

Task Achievement

It would be beneficial to offer solutions or alternatives to showcase your determination to join the course, such as willingness to complete a preparatory course, if necessary.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

175 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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