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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

IN THE FUTURE ROBOTS WILL DO MORE AND MORE JOBS INSTEAD OF HUMANS. DOES THIS DEVELOPMENT HAVE MOREADVANTAGES OF DISADVANTAGES?

#future #robots #jobs #humans #development #moreadvantages
Artificial Intelligence Improvement in all sectors will make all tasks easier rather than being done by humans manually. In my opinion, more benefits will be obtained from
this
 achievement in advanced
technology
. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the advanced
technology
 in many sectors that
use
this
technology
 by the population in the world. I start with the application search engine that makes people find anything. People
use
 AI to finish their work early.
For example
, the researcher will
use
 the Ecite application to find articles that correlate with their paper. It will present all the articles; you can choose and download some.
In addition
, the consumer can
use
 other AI to read and resume the article quickly. So, the job that researchers that usually spend much
time
. With
this
 help, they do be in short
time
. More efficient and effective using the
time
. On the other side, advanced
technology
 in the academic field makes some researchers decrease in reading cultures. They do not want to read all the content of the paper but only read the conclusion article from AI.
While
 reading culture must be had by the researcher because it influences the writer's style of
researcher
Replace the word
research
show examples
.
For instance
, they do not have the ability to write the sentence to be right.
Then
, the community will find it hard to
use
 verbs that have a relationship with their study. Its means, advanced
technology
 makes a transition in the writer's culture in the research community. In conclusion, advanced
technology
 like AI has many benefits for humans. It makes all the tasks
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
easy to do and more efficient and effective in using the
time
.
Submitted by endangsepdanius on

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task achievement
Your introduction briefly outlines the topic, but it lacks a clear thesis statement indicating whether you believe the advancements in robotics and AI will have more advantages or disadvantages. A clear thesis would enhance your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Your body paragraphs discuss advantages and then disadvantages of AI, but the ideas would benefit from clearer topic sentences and better transition phrases to lead the reader through the essay. This would improve the logical structure of your coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The main points of your argument would be stronger with more relevant and specific examples. Instead of general statements, use detailed examples to illustrate your points, which could include statistics, studies, or real-world implications of AI advancements.
task achievement
Your conclusion summarizes the essay, but it fails to clearly state your final position on the issue. Restating your thesis and summarizing your main points would provide a more compelling closure to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are both present and fully developed to introduce the topic and adequately summarize the main points, respectively. This also applies to the logical structuring of the entire piece.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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