IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

News stories on TV and in newspapers are very often accompanied by pictures. Some people say that these pictures are more effective than words. What is your opinion about this?

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News
Use synonyms
stories
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 on TV and in papers are usually followed by attached
pictures
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. Some individuals believe
pictures
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 have a stronger effect than
words
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. And I agree with
this
Linking Words
 argument. In some people’s minds,
pictures
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 are more efficient than
words
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.
In other
Linking Words
words
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,
pictures
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 help us to transfer data faster and more efficiently.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
pictures
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 can transfer the true sense of
stories
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 to the audience and make an effective
impact
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 on them.
For instance
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,
news
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 about fire in a forest is more effective if accompanied by photos of destruction and emissions caused by fire. In fact,
pictures
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 can deliver sensations more than
words
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 and
this
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 makes the
impact
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 of them deeper in people's minds.
Moreover
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,
pictures
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 are more attention catchers than
words
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. Indeed, we sometimes follow a subject on TV or in papers just because of the attractive
pictures
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 attached to the
stories
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. Needless to say,
pictures
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impact
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 us in the first impression and
this
Linking Words
 makes our minds more vulnerable to them.
For example
Linking Words
, we are all trying to avoid
news
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 about wars to protect our souls from the downsides of bad
news
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,
however
Linking Words
, it is possible to follow that kind of
news
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 when the
stories
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 start with
pictures
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 from affected areas. In fact,
news
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 agencies use photos and videos as a trick to
impact
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 us at first sight. In conclusion, some people believe that
pictures
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 are more effective than
words
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 in different manners. And I think it is true,
also
Linking Words
that is
Linking Words
 why
news
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 agencies try to attract more audience by accompanying their
stories
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by
Change preposition
with
show examples
pictures
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a basic level of coherence and cohesion, with some clear progression of ideas; however, a more sophisticated structure and better linkage between your points would enhance this aspect. To improve, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and organizing your argument in a way that demonstrates a more complex understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt to a satisfactory extent, with a clear position throughout the response. However, to achieve a higher score, ensure that you expand on your main points with a more developed argument. Include a broader range of relevant examples to support your views and a clear conclusion that summarizes your argument effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • empathize
  • instantaneous comprehension
  • irrefutable evidence
  • transcend language barriers
  • overreliance
  • oversimplification
  • misinformation
  • desensitizing
  • nuance
  • in-depth analysis
  • symbiotic relationship
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