There is a lot of pressure on young people to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Children are under a lot of
pressure
to succeed academically because it is a way to easily get a job in the future. Having good grades shows that the child has put in the time and effort to achieve the best marks possible in a certain task. This
characteristic assures the employers that the child will be a good employee in the future. Nonetheless
, this
essay believes that non-academic subjects
are equally important with
Change preposition
to
the
academic Correct article usage
apply
subjects
.
Pressure
is good especially when it is regulated. A good amount of pressure
helps the student
discover and overcome his limits. Academic subjects
like Math and Science are important to understand
the basic systems in our lives. It helps the Wrong verb form
understanding
student
have a logical point of view. For one, the student
is able to apply Math in calculating expenses, use English to decipher the proper way to communicate, and Science to have a better understanding how
the organs in our body function and how to take proper care of these organs.
Notwithstanding the importance of academic Change preposition
of how
subjects
, non-academic subjects
such
as physical education and cookery further
expands
the horizons of the Change the verb form
expand
student
. Non-academic courses
teaches
practical Change the verb form
teach
skills
and other skills
that cannot be found in a book. It generally teaches survival skills
that
is
greatly utilized in the daily activities of a person. Cooking is a life skill that needs to be taught to students just like other vocational Change the verb form
are
courses
like mechanic
, automation, Fix the agreement mistake
mechanics
carpentry
, among others. These Correct word choice
and carpentry
skills
will always be relevant and marketable since these are activities that are regularly engaged our
everyday lives.
Non-academic Change preposition
in our
courses
also
help the student
discover themselves and gain self-confidence. Some learners may have difficulty understanding academic courses
due to
lack
of interest or simply because they are intimidated to study the course. If there are other non-academic Correct article usage
a lack
courses
, students will soon discover their interests and through that interest, they have the intrinsic motivation to study and hone their skills
.
While
it is true that academic courses
are important, non-academic courses
still hold the same level of importance. The pressure
to succeed academically will be lessened when learners soon discover and realign their interests with the line of work they wish to pursue in the future.Submitted by lwvnyn on
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Task Achievement & Coherence
Ensure that your introduction explicitly addresses the prompt, presenting a clear thesis statement that outlines the areas you will cover in the essay. This will improve both task achievement and coherence.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points with specific examples and evidence. While your essay touches on the importance of non-academic subjects, more specific examples demonstrating their impact would strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Focus on creating clearer transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Using a range of linking words and phrases effectively will improve the flow of your essay, enhancing coherence.
Coherence
Remember to include a concluding paragraph that summarises your main points and restates your position. This helps solidify the structure of your essay and reaffirms your stance on the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.