You ordered an item from an online shop three weeks ago. The shop said you would get the item two days later but you have not received it yet. Last week you sent an email about the situation to the shop, but you did not receive a reply. Write a letter to the manager. In your letter explain the situation complain about the bad service ask for immediate delivery of your order or your money back

#item #shop #three #weeks #two #week #email #situation #manager #service #delivery #money

Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with your response and punctuality to my order. I ordered a pair of shoes from your shop three weeks ago but I did not receive them on time.

Therefore

, I sent an email to the shop and there was no reply to my request. So, I am completely annoyed with

this

situation. The reason I am writing

this

letter is to complain about your bad service. First I did not receive my order on the scheduled day. So, I sent an email but no one responded to my emails. So, I am totally dissatisfied with your shop’s unpunctuality and irresponsibility. Given these terrible circumstances, I am requesting you to deliver my order immediately or

due to

your poor service I demand my money back as soon as possible. Thank you for your immediate reconsideration in advance. Yours sincerely, Khashayar Partovi

Submitted by khashayarpartovi on Mon Mar 04 2024

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Task Achievement

You should ensure that each paragraph presents a clear main idea and expands on it with relevant details. Adding specific dates, the item ordered, or your follow-up actions could enhance the explanation and argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Utilize a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, moreover) and paragraphing more effectively to manage and organize ideas. This will make your arguments flow more logically and improve readability.

Writing Tone

Consider employing a more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to convey your points more effectively. This would elevate the formality and persuasiveness of your letter, aligning better with the writing tone expected in formal letters of complaint.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

149 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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