IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You ordered an item from an online shop three weeks ago. The shop said you would get the item two days later but you have not received it yet. Last week you sent an email about the situation to the shop, but you did not receive a reply. Write a letter to the manager. In your letter explain the situation complain about the bad service ask for immediate delivery of your order or your money back

#item #shop #three #weeks #two #week #email #situation #manager #service #delivery #money
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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with your response and punctuality to my order. I ordered a pair of shoes from your shop three weeks ago but I did not receive them on time.
Therefore
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, I sent an email to the shop and there was no reply to my request. So, I am completely annoyed with
this
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 situation. The reason I am writing
this
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 letter is to complain about your bad service. First I did not receive my order on the scheduled day. So, I sent an email but no one responded to my emails. So, I am totally dissatisfied with your shop’s unpunctuality and irresponsibility. Given these terrible circumstances, I am requesting you to deliver my order immediately or
due to
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 your poor service I demand my money back as soon as possible. Thank you for your immediate reconsideration in advance. Yours sincerely, Khashayar Partovi
Submitted by khashayarpartovi on

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Task Achievement
You should ensure that each paragraph presents a clear main idea and expands on it with relevant details. Adding specific dates, the item ordered, or your follow-up actions could enhance the explanation and argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Utilize a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, moreover) and paragraphing more effectively to manage and organize ideas. This will make your arguments flow more logically and improve readability.
Writing Tone
Consider employing a more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to convey your points more effectively. This would elevate the formality and persuasiveness of your letter, aligning better with the writing tone expected in formal letters of complaint.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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