Some people think that you can only learn about the cultures of different places by traveling there. Other people think that you can learn just as much about these places from reading books and watching travel documentaries about them. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Many
people
argue that cultures can only be studied by going to the country directly Use synonyms
while
others claim that it can Linking Words
obtain
from reading books or watching Wrong verb form
be obtained
travel
videos. Use synonyms
this
essay will discuss each Linking Words
views
.
Change to a singular noun
view
initially
, by directly going to certain countries, we can learn from the locals and Linking Words
circumstences
Correct your spelling
circumstances
wuthout
deviation. Correct your spelling
without
Travelers
can experience living in other countries and adjusting their habits based on what they see and how they feel. Another advantage which they Change the spelling
Travellers
are not only learn
about Change the verb form
are not only learning
trandision
but Correct your spelling
tradition
traditions
transition
also
their education and Linking Words
administrations
. Fix the agreement mistake
administration
However
, it requires a Linking Words
big
amount of money and it limits Correct word choice
large
people
to have a trip.
In terms of other resources, Use synonyms
ricently
, many Correct your spelling
recently
alternative
have been provided to learn , globally, including Change to a plural noun
alternatives
culturs
from the whole world. Many books and Correct your spelling
cultures
culture
traveling
videos are easy to access and they Change the spelling
travelling
also
provide Linking Words
vary
information. Replace the word
various
This
is provided for Linking Words
people
who cannot be able to Use synonyms
travel
but want to know other cultures. Use synonyms
For instance
, nowadays, there are many Linking Words
travel
vlogs by actors and online platform influencers which in they show how live in other countries and they inform the viewers about their cultures Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
us
Correct your spelling
as
trandisional
clothes and foods. Meanwhile, it is sometimes not as Correct your spelling
traditional
acurate
as what real Correct your spelling
accurate
travelers
obtain when Change the spelling
travellers
visit
the country, because some information can be manipulated Change the verb form
visiting
jus
Correct your spelling
just
for getting
viewers.
Change preposition
to get
To sum up
, both Linking Words
alternative
has some Change to a plural noun
alternatives
benefit
and it depends on Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
Use synonyms
people
ability to Change noun form
people's
travel
. If their Use synonyms
financial
cannot support them to Replace the word
finances
travel
they can use books or Use synonyms
travel
videos to find Use synonyms
culture
information.Replace the word
cultural
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coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a basic logical structure but lacks strong cohesion. Transitions between points are not always smooth and there's a need to use a wider range of linking words for better flow. Frequent grammatical errors also disrupt the logical progression of ideas.
task achievement
You addressed the task adequately with a brief discussion of both views and a conclusion stating your opinion. However, the development of the main points is uneven and some ideas are repeated. Use specific, detailed examples to support your points and ensure the response fully addresses all parts of the task. Your opinion should be clearly stated and consistently maintained throughout the essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example