It is sometimes said that social media friends are not real friends? Give out your opinion?
Today,
people
are spending a lot of time on social media
and relying too much on their networks. Some elites believe friendships on social media
are not real. I agree with this
statement because people
spend time on social media
for entertainment not
new commitments Add the comma(s)
, not
as well as
they publish wrong information
about their lives.
Firstly
, social media
are made for entertainment. People
usually spend time on social media
to get rid of daily stress, they are not there to make new commitments. For example
, if two persons find each other content intresting
on Instagram, they would start Correct your spelling
interesting
intracting
with each Correct your spelling
interacting
others
. Change to a singular noun
other
As a result
, although
they may feel they are friends, in the case of any problem, their online friends are out of reach. Not only because they are remote, but also
because they are seeking fun not new problems.
Secondly
, social media
are full of fake information
. Either to protect their privacy or to scam other humans, many users use wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
information
on their profiles. As a consequence
, after falling in love with a beautiful girl, she is likely to be a boy using a fake profile as a girl. Moreover
, without any intention to use fake data, the public are
highly unlikely to publish their real lives. Change the verb form
is
For instance
, a lot of users are not professional blogers
, Correct your spelling
bloggers
thereafter
, they only publish posts when they are happy. Therefore
, It is highly likely to establish a friendship based on the wrong information
which makes the friendship fake.
Inconclusion
, I strongly believe social Correct your spelling
In conclusion
media
friendships are not real. On one hand, people
are seeking fun on social media
not
new relations. Add the comma(s)
, not
On the other hand
, the information
published on social media
are
not Change the verb form
is
trust worthy
.Correct your spelling
trustworthy
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coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer logical structure. You should ensure each paragraph follows a clear line of thought, from the topic sentence to supporting sentences and a concluding sentence.
coherence cohesion
Both introduction and conclusion are present but could be strengthened. The introduction should more directly address the prompt, and the conclusion should more effectively summarize the main points of your argument without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
The main points in each paragraph require further development. Use more detailed examples, and ensure that the support you provide directly relates to the topic sentences and the overall thesis of the essay.
task achievement
To fully respond to the task, you must address all parts of the question. Ensure you have thoroughly covered the topic, including providing a more nuanced discussion on the nature of real friendships versus social media friendships.
task achievement
Your ideas are present but need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Strive for greater clarity in your argumentation and use linking words to connect your ideas effectively.
task achievement
The essay lacks relevant and specific examples. Providing detailed and concrete examples strengthens your argument and helps the reader understand your point of view.