Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The number of
supermarkets
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
quickly increasing in several nations, resulting in local industries cannot compete with them. Some believe that it leads to a great destruction of these small companies. In my view, local people benefit more from local
stores
, despite the fact that
supermarkets
are more convenient and provide various services. In recent years,
supermarkets
have become the first place where people want to buy everything rather than small grocery
stores
.
As a consequence
, more and more grocery
stores
closed because they had no way to compete with the large
business
groups
. The first reason is that large
business
groups
have a greater budget to provide various and better services for
customers
,
thus
the local industries are less attractive to the
customers
.
For example
, we can buy coffee in most
supermarkets
in Taiwan.
In contrast
, coffee machines are not a common thing in local
stores
.
Hence
, the
customers
who prefer to have a cup of coffee tend to be appealed by
this
service of the
supermarkets
.
Secondly
, unlike large
business
groups
, local shopkeepers often dedicate all their money
in
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to
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their own
stores
;
due to
the economic pressure, it is an uphill battle for them to start another
business
again if they close their store.
On the other hand
, large
business
groups
can easily choose another location and start their industries again.
This
is a huge disadvantage for the local communities. To give an example, nowadays, we can see more chain
supermarkets
in urban areas.
On the contrary
, we can find many small businesses in the countryside where the
supermarkets
have not expanded
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
This
means that
supermarkets
truly affect the lives of local
stores
. In conclusion,
supermarkets
give
customers
various and better services, yet it is harmful to many small businesses, they may have to find another way to profit nowadays.
Moreover
, local people should consume more in these local
stores
in order to support them.
Submitted by annlin900116 on

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task achievement
Make sure to provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to improve the flow of information and ideas.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more detailed and specific examples to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Try to maintain a balance in your essay by equally addressing both views on the issue, especially when the prompt is asking to what extent you agree or disagree.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each centered around a single main idea, to enhance both coherence and readability.
coherence cohesion
Work on your essay conclusion by summarizing the key points made and restating your position in a clear and concise manner.

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