Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent times, it is usually believed that online
friendships
are not as truly valuable as friendship
in Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
the
real life. I totally agree with Correct article usage
apply
this
statement because although
online relationships can be easily had through many platforms, it
really Correct pronoun usage
they
does
not bring as Correct subject-verb agreement
do
a whole
variety of interests as real-life Correct word choice
much
friendships
.
Advocates of making friends in the virtual world point to diverse communication possibilities. Previously, an individual had little choice but to make friends within an often-narrow
circle. Today, the average social media user can contact individuals with more diverse interests. Correct your spelling
often narrow
For example
, people who are passionate about playing old board games may find each other on a Facebook group or through an Instagram page and become friends due to
a common bond. By using the Internet, these people can stay in touch and maintain a potentially rewarding intellectual friendship.
Nonetheless
, a truly meaningful friendship can only be had when meeting face to face. Research has shown that the body produces endorphins that help elevate a person's mood through touch and face-to-face conversation. These are signs that real-life friendships
have great value based on physical closeness. The benefits of such
relationships extend to body language communication, eye contact and physical contact. These characteristics are the intrinsic value and meaning most ascribed to quality friendships
and the complete lack of superficial online friendships
that ultimately only waste one's precious time and energy.
In conclusion, while
being online offers the average person some conveniences that can enhance friendships
, there is actually much greater value in connecting with someone in real life. Few would dispute this
claim even as many friendships
are becoming increasingly embedded in the online context.Submitted by domaianh.uliser on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence and cohesion
You should ensure a logical flow of ideas throughout your essay that clearly connect to the central argument. Maintain paragraphing and topic sentences to clearly outline each argument.
Coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they need to more effectively paraphrase the prompt and clearly state your position. The conclusion requires a more comprehensive summary of the key points discussed.
Coherence and cohesion
While some main points are mentioned, ensure that each is explored and supported with detailed explanations and evidence. This can include examples, facts, or personal experiences that are directly relevant to your argument.
Task achievement
To fully respond to the task, you must address all parts of the prompt. It is important to extend your arguments, justify your opinions, and present a balanced view if required by the question.
Task achievement
Aim to present ideas that are clear, well-thought-out, and comprehensive. Each paragraph should elaborate on a single main idea effectively and contribute to the overall argument or discussion of the essay.
Task achievement
Use specific and relevant examples to clarify your points and illustrate your arguments. The examples should closely reflect the topic and reinforce your position on the given issue.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.