One of the consequence of improved medical care is that people are living longer life and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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The increasing
life
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expectancy
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of people
due to
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the development of medical facilities has become a pressing issue in contemporary society. In
this
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essay, we will discuss both the benefits and drawbacks of
this
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improvement.
To begin
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with, it is widely believed that
this
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development may cause inevitable consequences to both
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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and the economy of nations. Environmental problems are the major concerns when it comes to the growth of the population. The increasing number of citizens is likely to deteriorate the air pollution in cities and promote deforestation.
Therefore
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, these consequences lead to radical health problems and disturb the biodiversity of the jungles.
Moreover
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,
this
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growing population may raise the expenditure of the government to provide efficient facilities and amenities for everyone.
Consequently
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, it poses huge negative impacts on governments' annual budgets.
On the other hand
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, an increase in the
life
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expectancy
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of citizens has several positive impacts on the economic growth of countries. One primary benefit of it is supplying an abundant workforce for industrial sections. Regarding the point that the breeding rate reduced dramatically across the world, increased
life
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expectancy
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can help industries to use their workers longer. Another major advantage of
this
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development is a rise in the satisfaction rate of individuals. Entitling proper medical care can boost the efficiency of both workers and professionals in their careers.
As a result
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, I believe that increasing
life
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expectancy
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not only can provide sufficient human force for various sections, but it can improve the efficiency and applicability of people and pave the way for countries to reach sustainable economic growth. In conclusion,
although
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rising
life
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expectancy
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can bring particular consequences to governments' budgets and environment, I believe that it can help nations to boost their economy
due to
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sufficient human force and a rise in satisfaction rate among them.

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task achievement
Expand on specific examples to enhance clarity and illustrate your points better.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs for better flow.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the key points more distinctly to reinforce your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Clear introduction and a logical progression of ideas throughout the essay.
task achievement
Good identification of both advantages and disadvantages related to life expectancy.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • elderly population
  • public resources
  • pension systems
  • healthcare costs
  • workforce dynamics
  • intergenerational relationships
  • quality of life
  • retirement age
  • cultural enrichment
  • economic contributions
  • caregiving roles
  • personal satisfaction
  • healthier aging population
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