Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems
Nowadays,many people argue that
extinction
of certain species of flora and fauna is the major problem of biodiversity. Correct article usage
the extinction
Meanwhile
others suggest that there are more crucial issues which cause Add a comma
Meanwhile,
grear
damage to our planet. To my way of thinking,Correct your spelling
great
although
diminishing number
of Correct article usage
the number
habitat
is important,global warming might Fix the agreement mistake
habitats
effect
more Verb problem
cause
distruction
to our ecosystem.
Correct your spelling
destruction
One
the one hand,each animal takes a colossal role in Correct your spelling
On
Add an article
the biologic
biologic
chain of nutrition. Replace the word
biological
In other words
, disappearance
of certain species Add an article
the disappearance
provoke
disbalance in a food resource.
Change the verb form
provokes
Consequently
,such
phenomenon
leads to Correct article usage
a phenomenon
dying out
of other creatures,which Verb problem
the death
consumed
them. Wrong verb form
consumes
For example
,vanishing
of frogs in lakes,contributed to the reduction of herons. Correct article usage
the vanishing
Furthermore
,it has an impact to
Change preposition
on
growth
of insects,Add an article
the growth
such
as mosquitos and flies. This
affected
Verb problem
caused
a
huge damage Remove the article
apply
for
Change preposition
to
agriculture
and farming sectors,as they Correct article usage
the agriculture
have
destroyed plants Unnecessary verb
apply
on
the fields.
Change preposition
in
On the other hand
, some individuals assure
that global warming is changing not only climate Verb problem
say
pattern
,Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
however
it caused
enormously Wrong verb form
causing
on
whole biodiversity. Change preposition
apply
For instance
,the quantity of polar bears has been dropping dramatically for last
decades,Correct article usage
the last
in
virtue of climbing temperatures. These figures are extremely high for their Change preposition
by
existance
. Another example is the shortage of Correct your spelling
existence
coralls
in Correct your spelling
corals
corrals
Indian
Add an article
the Indian
ocean
. Marine life and Capitalize word
Ocean
aquatic
world Add an article
the aquatic
is
faced with Change the verb form
are
catastrophy
,because of Correct your spelling
catastrophes
rising
Correct article usage
the rising
of
water temperature and Change preposition
apply
extinction
Correct article usage
the extinction
in
Change preposition
of
variety
of fishes,which Correct article usage
a variety
used
coralls as Wrong verb form
use
home
. Correct article usage
a home
In
has Correct your spelling
It
became
the most significant problem Change the form of the verb
become
to save
the normal habitat for all the animals existing Change preposition
in saving
in
the globe.
In conclusion, I believe that global warming is the main Change preposition
on
concerning
of present times. It is Replace the word
concern
nesessary
to save Correct your spelling
necessary
planet
and all the species which are dying out because of human impact and tackle with problems causing these issues.Add an article
the planet
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Task Achievement
Your essay provides a clear position throughout, engaging directly with the prompt. However, it lacks a full development of ideas in some parts. It would benefit from further exploration and explanation on how each environmental problem impacts the ecosystem. To better fulfill the task requirement, aim to discuss the implications of each view with depth and provide more detailed examples to support your perspective for a higher band score.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay demonstrates some organization of ideas; however, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be enhanced to improve the reader's ability to follow the argument. There are instances of repetition which disturb the flow of information. To improve coherence and cohesion, employ a wider range of linking devices and synonyms effectively. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph would also help to strengthen the logical flow of your argument.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...