*C14, T2* *Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems* *Discuss both these views and give your own opinion*
Some
people
argued
that Wrong verb form
argue
current
major Correct article usage
the current
environment
issue is dying out specific species of Replace the word
environmental
plants
and animals
while
others make debate
that there are many key environmental problems happening other than that. Add an article
the debate
This
essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in favour of the latter.
In
the one hand, Change preposition
On
over exploitation
and Add a hyphen
over-exploitation
harming
Replace the word
harm
for
natural Change preposition
to
habitat
are the main reasons to dying out the Fix the agreement mistake
habitats
plants
and animals
. Furthermore
, people
tend to use limited natural creatures an
unlimitedly and these circumstances Correct article usage
apply
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
on
the Change preposition
apply
environment
eventually. When human
artificially transform the Fix the agreement mistake
humans
environment
, they distroy
vegetation and Correct your spelling
destroy
animal
natural Fix the agreement mistake
animals
habitat
. As an example, to build new roads Fix the agreement mistake
habitats
people
are cutting down the trees and cementing the soil
, altering the environment
. This
is because, damage
Correct subject-verb agreement
damages
plants
, animals
and soil
rapidly. Furthermore
, activity
connected with capturing and harvesting Fix the agreement mistake
activities
a
natural Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
resources
are too intense in a particular area, the
resource Correct word choice
and the
become
exhausted. When considering these alterations, Change the verb form
becomes
loss
of biodiversity is Correct article usage
the loss
the
major risk in the world.
Correct article usage
a
On the other hand
, there are many type
of environmental Change to a plural noun
types
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
are
occurring Unnecessary verb
apply
due to
human activities. People
always
selfish and Add a missing verb
are always
accomplished
their Wrong verb form
accomplish
need
by using Fix the agreement mistake
needs
natural
Correct article usage
the natural
environment
but not
Add a missing verb
are not
awareness
of the Replace the word
aware
risk
. We Fix the agreement mistake
risks
got
valuable Wrong verb form
get
resources
from nature such
as water , air, soil
and ozone
layer. But many Add an article
the ozone
type
of negative actions are diminishing those Change to a plural noun
types
resources
. Thus
, consequences are dangerous and non-reversible because that damage is not a
temporary.
In my opinion, obviously, environmental balance is Change the article
apply
dependend
on both animal, Correct your spelling
dependent
plant
species and other Correct word choice
and plant
all natural
Add a hyphen
all-natural
resources
like water, air and soil
. Therefore
, not only protect animals
and plants
but also
the
other natural Correct article usage
apply
resources
as well.
In conclusion, many individuals believe that many environmental alterations have to resolve
Wrong verb form
be resolved
than
specific Change preposition
over
plants
and Fix the agreement mistake
plant
animals
extinctions from the world. But, in my opinion Change the noun form
animal
is
all natural Unnecessary verb
apply
resources
including animals
and plants
dying out is the
major concern in the world.Correct article usage
a
Submitted by ranasinghenadeeshani07 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The essay does cover the requirements of the question by discussing both views and giving the writer's own opinion, but the overall structure could be more coherent. Ideas should be clearly separated into distinct paragraphs with clear topic sentences. There is room for improvement in the logical flow of information and ideas.
task achievement
Responses must remain relevant throughout, maintaining a clear position. Be sure to develop all parts of the question with sufficient detail and with specific examples to support your claims. This essay would benefit from more precise examples and a more balanced discussion of both sides of the argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.