IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You have been working in a company for the last two years. Recently, your computer in the office has started giving some problems and it is affecting your work performance. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter, describe the problem explain how it is affecting your work write what you want him to do regarding it You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows:

Dear John, I am writing to draw your attention to several issues with my computer in the office.
Although
Linking Words
 the desktop is pretty new, somehow it started giving some problems and affecting my work performance. My
screen
Use synonyms
 always turns to a blue
screen
Use synonyms
 after I use it for a few hours. Every time it turns blue, usually, I restart or turn off the computer and it will back to normal.
However
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, it keeps turning to a blue
screen
Use synonyms
 after a few hours. At least, in one day I need to restart my CPU three to five times, which really disturbs my work. I need to present my project outcomes end of
this
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 week,
however
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, I am afraid I can not make it on time since my PC not properly working. I
wish
Verb problem
hope
show examples
 you
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 help me to call a technician to fix my desktop computer
screen
Use synonyms
 as soon as possible. Thank you for your understanding and swift attention to
this
Linking Words
 matter. I look forward to your reply. Kind regards, Jess

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly state the specific problems with the computer in a more structured way. For example, consider using bullet points or numbering for multiple issues to enhance clarity.
task achievement
While the overall tone is polite and appropriate, try to be a bit more formal in your wording to match a professional setting. For instance, instead of 'I wish you could help me', you might say 'I would appreciate your assistance in arranging for a technician'.
positive
The letter has a friendly and polite tone, which is appropriate for communication with a manager.
positive
You clearly explained how the issue is affecting your work performance, which is important for this type of letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technical difficulties
  • Productivity
  • Deadlines
  • Software glitches
  • Upgrading
  • Hardware malfunction
  • Work disruption
  • Commitment
  • Swift action
  • Consulting
  • Thorough checkup
  • Resolving
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