IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Crime rates among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries. Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions

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Nowadays, cases of crime among juveniles
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 increased much faster in many nations. The possible reasons are caused by negative
content
Use synonyms
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media and parent's roles. These two reasons
triggeri
Correct your spelling
trigger
triggers
triggering
 criminal actions in the teenage years. First of all, I would like to describe
about
Remove the preposition
apply
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negative
content
Use synonyms
 on the
internet
Use synonyms
 that
Add a missing verb
is wacthed
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wacthed
Correct your spelling
watched
 by teenagers right now. In the digital era, the
internet
Use synonyms
 is developing more than we imagine. It is good and can help us to do anything easier but at the same time, it has negative impacts on children.
For instance
Linking Words
, everybody can upload anything
content
Use synonyms
 without filters including violent activities, bickering, gambling etc and
as a result
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, juveniles consume it without thinking about the effects on their
mental's
Change noun form
mental
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 health. They do not realize that it can involve their behaviours and
mind
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minds
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.
In addition
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,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the parents
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parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
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 role is really important in
this
Linking Words
 case.
Parents
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 should be
a keepers
Correct the article-noun agreement
a keeper
keepers
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 for their children
such
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 as giving
limited
Correct pronoun usage
them limited
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 time to use their
mobilephones
Correct your spelling
mobile phones
,
take
Wrong verb form
taking
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 control of their activities, particularly outside and must to know who is the fellowship.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, give them the best role models and be a best friend for them. In conclusion, eventually, the cases of
criminalamong
Correct your spelling
criminal among
 teenagers
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 increased significantly because of the
content
Use synonyms
 that they consume from the
internet
Use synonyms
 and
parents
Use synonyms
 lost control
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
triggered
Wrong verb form
triggering
show examples
Replace the word
criminal
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crime
Replace the word
criminal
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 activities,
hence
Linking Words
parents
Use synonyms
 should
be starting
Wrong verb form
start
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to take care and
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
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 of their children's environment, fellowship, give limit time for using the
internet
Use synonyms
 and can be the best friend for them.

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coherence cohesion
The essay addresses the topic but often lacks a clear and logical structure. Transition phrases should be used more effectively to connect ideas seamlessly. Each paragraph should clearly follow from the one before it, forming a cohesive argument throughout the essay.
task achievement
While the essay attempts to address the prompt, it falls short of fully developing ideas and providing comprehensive analysis or argumentation. Make sure to thoroughly explain and expand on each point you make, ensuring a complete understanding for the reader. Use more relevant, specific examples to support your points and provide a deeper insight into the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Juvenile delinquency
  • Socioeconomic factors
  • Parental supervision
  • Peer influence
  • Dysfunctional family
  • Desensitization
  • Substance abuse
  • Educational opportunities
  • Employment prospects
  • Preventive measures
  • Rehabilitation programs
  • Community involvement
  • Policy interventions
  • Mental health support
  • Crime deterrence
  • Media exposure
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