It has been observed that in many countries notenoughstudentsarechoosingto studyscience subjects at university. What do you think are the causes of the problem? What are the effects on society

#countries #notenoughstudentsarechoosingto #studyscience #subjects #university #effects #society

Financial illiteracy used to be the biggest problem of my childhood. Though, my mother had an average salary and some bonuses from my father as child support. Even though, my mom did not have enough financial knowledge to manage money effectively. I really did not have an idea what

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

happening

due to

my young and silly mind. As a big brother to my sister and an assistant to my mother, I had to find a way to abandon

this

paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle.

At the end

of 10th grade, I explored a new sphere with outrageous potential,

web3.0

Correct your spelling

Web 3.0

This

field is about speculating digital pictures that have value in

this

community. At the beginning of my way, I started taking courses , and

then

day by day I made NFT a part of my daily routine and

consequently

, I started earning my livelihood.

However

, after 1 year,

while

working I spotted that very talented

artists

who are constantly making high-quality NFTs went unnoticed by the community. At

this

point, I realized that I wanted to help them and started planning my own ecosystem, where

artists

could buy a place at my project and

then

I could send out their creations to every volunteer for free, for just entering 1 use code that can be obtained from other accounts every 2

week

Change to a plural noun

weeks

show examples

, every month,

moreover

, these NFTs can be sold in platforms

such

as magiceden.io, tensor.trade, coral.cube. So, everyone has their own profit, people can receive NFTs from

artists

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

evaluate them, and

also

sell them to get money, as a head of

this

project I may receive money from

artists

. Now, it is my dream to materialize

this

concept.

However

, to do it, I must study finances at an academic degree because

this

idea directly demands working with budget, controlling finances may avoid some big budget spaces in the lifecycle of

this

project.

Submitted by dnm.best on Fri Jan 05 2024

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task achievement

The essay provided does not adhere to the topic given, which concerns the causes and effects of students not choosing to study science subjects at university. Ensure that the content of your essay directly addresses the task provided.

coherence and cohesion

The essay lacks a clear introduction, coherent structure, and conclusion that relate to the essay topic. To improve coherence and cohesion, establish a clear logical sequence of ideas, and always include an introduction that presents the topic, followed by body paragraphs that elaborate the points made, and a conclusion that summarizes the main ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

313 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It has been observed that in many countries notenoughstudentsarechoosingto studyscience subjects at university. What do you think are the causes of the problem? What are the effects on society

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Due to globalization, many countries lose their traditions and national values. Some people think it is the responsibility of governments to protect these values. Do you agree or disagree?

despite the increased access to education, a significant number of people cannot read or write, what are the disadvantages, and what actions the should government take?