In some countries, the number of shootings increas because many people have guns at home. to what extent do you agree or disagree? give specific reasons and examples to support you answer.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Across the globe, many individuals own
guns
Use synonyms
for self-defence or recreational purposes.
Gun
Use synonyms
-related mortalities in the
household
Use synonyms
,
in particular
Linking Words
, throw the ethics of
such
Linking Words
forms of private
gun
Use synonyms
ownership to sharp relief. In
this
Linking Words
essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
shall appeal to crime statistics to argue that a person is at a far
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
greater risk of being shot if there is a
gun
Use synonyms
in the family circle.
To begin
Linking Words
with, it is intuitively obvious that having a
gun
Use synonyms
in a
household
Use synonyms
will endanger
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children and teenagers.
This
Linking Words
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
minors do not have the requisite knowledge or maturity to handle
guns
Use synonyms
safely.
For example
Linking Words
, the United
states
Capitalize word
States
show examples
of America Department of Justice recently revealed statistics showing that 150 American children and teenagers are deceased each year because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
accidents relating to
household
Use synonyms
guns
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is
uncontrovertible
Correct your spelling
incontrovertible
show examples
that custody of a
gun
Use synonyms
leads to additional shootings.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
household
Use synonyms
guns
Use synonyms
are especially hazardous when couples have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
voilent agruments
Correct your spelling
violent arguments
.
This
Linking Words
is because, male sexual rage, to be specific,
ofen
Correct your spelling
often
results in deadly
agression
Correct your spelling
aggression
.
For instance
Linking Words
, The
Internation
Correct your spelling
International
show examples
Crime Bureau produced statistical evidence that, if a man discovers his wife having
a
Change the article
an
show examples
affair, he is twice as likely to kill her in a fit of jealous rage if he has easy access to a
gun
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, once again,
household
Use synonyms
guns
Use synonyms
correlate positively
regarding
Change preposition
with
show examples
shootings. In conclusion, there is undeniable evidence that having a
gyn
Correct your spelling
gun
in the family leads to
further
Linking Words
shootings. Given the strength of
this
Linking Words
authentication, in the future, more legislation needs to be put in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
place to limit private
gun
Use synonyms
ownership.
Submitted by simransokhal50 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay introduced the topic and presented a conclusion, but you could improve the clarity of your argument by ensuring a smoother transition between ideas. Attempt to use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
You've managed to maintain relevance to the given topic throughout the essay, providing examples in support of your points. However, try providing a more nuanced argument by acknowledging potential counterarguments and tackling them. This would not only show a broader understanding of the issue but also enhance the persuasiveness of your response.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: