It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?
In recent years, there has been a tremendous increase in the number of
individuals
quesitoning
whether Correct your spelling
questioning
people
should take the chance for a change in their career and personal life
. On the one hand, one key benefit is discovering the true potential of one’s abilities. However
, a significant drawback is people
risking their life
stability.
To begin
, there is an argument to be made that people
can understand themselves better and understand their invisible potential. For example
, one-third of the engineering students at University
of Toronto during their Correct article usage
the University
sophomor
year have decided to change their speciality to study art Correct your spelling
sophomore
instead
, which they have reported after a high satisfaction rate and an excellent acadmic perfomance
. Correct your spelling
academic performance
For
this
reason, it is evident that taking risks is a cornerstone into
unveiling the hidden capabilities, without which Change preposition
in
individuals
will never realize their actual skills. What is more, by
doing Change preposition
apply
this
, it
will encourage Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
to improve themselves further
, simply because they want to establish a radical change solely based on the belief that they can do it. This
being the case, it can be assumed that if a person did not take a risk in his life
, he would never understands
his true Change the verb form
understand
potentials
.
Fix the agreement mistake
potential
Nonetheless
, it must be stated that taking risks could put someone’s life
at stake and lead to chaos. For instance
, some people
have families which need stable money income to survive, without which could jeopardise the life
of entire
family because of Correct article usage
the entire
such
an action. Therefore
, it is clear that
individuals
can lose their balanced life
and destroy their family’s future, clearly because they want to be adventurous and chase what could not be real. Furthermore
, humans do not all share the same capabilities, some might have potentials
Fix the agreement mistake
potential
while
others not
, which inevitably means what works for someone, might not work for the other. With Add a missing verb
do not
this
in mind, there is no doubt that if people
started risking their life
and acting the same way, Fix the agreement mistake
lives
this
would have created chaotic
environment that endanger the stability of Correct article usage
a chaotic
life
.
To conclude
, while
some may feel that individuals
should risk their professional life
to discover about themselves. Others, myself included, hold the view that they should not chase such
chaotic
pathway which might lead to extended damaging consequences.
From my perspective, the pros do not outweigh the cons and Correct article usage
a chaotic
people
should be aware that it is very critical to clearly understand the limits of their power and what it
is Correct pronoun usage
apply
realisticly
achievable.Correct your spelling
realistically
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that the logical flow of ideas is maintained throughout the essay. A few points seem to be slightly repetitive, which could be improved by varying the arguments and not restating the same idea.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and summarize the key points well, which helps in framing the discussion effectively within the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Back up your main points with more detailed and varied examples to strengthen your argument. Examples help to concretize your points and make your argument more compelling.
Task Achievement
Address the task fully by covering all aspects of the question. Be sure to equally discuss both the advantages and the disadvantages to present a balanced view.
Task Achievement
Aim for clearer and more comprehensive development of ideas. Expand on your points to elucidate them further, and ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is well explored.
Task Achievement
Include relevant and more specific examples to support your arguments. Avoid general statements or hypothetical scenarios unless they clearly contribute to illustrating your point.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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