Technology has changed the way people communicatr today. Some people belive this is making our relationship stronger while others believe it is harming them. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.
Technology is flourishing by leaps and bounds in every field, especially
communication
. It has altered the way of communication
among the population today. However
, some think that this
makes people
's relationships
stronger, whereas
others say that it creates distance between mankind. This
essay discusses both viewpoints and I strongly agree with the former opinion for the following reasons.
On the one hand, the
advanced Correct article usage
apply
communication
tools help to close people
from everywhere around the world, this
aids to
Change preposition
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
long distance
Add a hyphen
long-distance
relationships
with people
who are homesick and miss their loved ones some video call apps help to maintain their relationship
very strongly. Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
For example
, a recent survey from the Times of India said that 75% of the population uses the WhatsApp cheating app every day to maintain their relationship very strongly. In addition
, that indicated
assistance to Wrong verb form
indicates
people
more closely even if they are busy in
work, meanwhile, they can talk Change preposition
at
whoever
at their own place without going Change preposition
to whoever
Change preposition
to them
them
place to visit and talk. All credit goes to the innovation of the technology.
Change the pronoun
their
On the other hand
, technology communication
devices create less
Change the quantifier
fewer
relationships
between humankind because individual's
direct contact has been diminishing Fix the agreement mistake
individuals'
instead
of
they prefer to communicate with smartphones. Correct word choice
apply
Consequently
, the close bonding is less, besides
, they like to talk with a stranger from other parts of the world than living in a
same place Correct article usage
the
people
or relatives. Change preposition
with people
For instance
, the Facebook chatting communication
app helps to connect people
around the globe within a
seconds and uploading pictures, likes and comments to a stranger. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, folks do not give
more interest to talk directlyVerb problem
have
a
person who knows already. Change preposition
to a
Hence
, this
phenomenon indeed creates less bonding with people
.
To conclude
, although
communication
tools help to connect people
across the globe, particularly long distance
Add a hyphen
long-distance
relationships
individuals can maintain their close bonding very strongly, this
communication
creates negative
impact on the population Add an article
a negative
like
face-to-face interaction might be reduced. Correct word choice
and
Therefore
, I strongly agree that communication
devices help to make relationships
very strongly
.Change the word
strong
Submitted by reanudeepan on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates basic logical structure, but improvements are needed for higher cohesion. Paragraphs should be more clearly divided with a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each one. Furthermore, try to maintain a consistent flow of ideas, avoiding abrupt changes in topic.
task achievement
Your introduction has a thesis statement, which is good, but it should be clearer and more specific. Each paragraph should stay focused on a single main point with examples that directly support that point. In your conclusion, summarize your arguments more clearly and restate your opinion succinctly.
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