Some people believe that universities should make sports a compulsory module on all degree courses as rates of obesity are getting higher and higher. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no doubt that health is wealth. Nowadays obesity issues are increasing especially
in
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among
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youngsters. Some people believe that university education should include sports as a mandatory module to combat
against
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apply
show examples
this
. I completely agree
to
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with
show examples
this
view which I will explain in
this
essay, There is no doubt that health is wealth. Nowadays obesity issues are increasing especially
in
Change preposition
among
show examples
youngsters. Some people believe that university education should include sports as a mandatory module to combat
against
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
. I completely agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
view which I will explain in
this
essay,
Submitted by ck.manshad on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks development in terms of content and structure. It is important to present a logical sequence of ideas that progress from introduction to conclusion, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point supported by examples or explanations.
task achievement
The response to the task is incomplete. To achieve a higher score, it is crucial to develop your argument and present clear, comprehensive ideas with relevant examples to support your position. The essay should be expanded to include a complete introduction, at least two developed paragraphs explaining reasons for your agreement, and a conclusion summarizing your viewpoint.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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