IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

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Weekend
days
Use synonyms
 can be different based on the countries and certain regulations but the matter
that is
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 often argued about, which is the number of
days
Use synonyms
 considered for working week and weekend, is basically the same. Some individuals, with whom I do not agree, claim that workers need more than 1 or 2
days
Use synonyms
 off each week. In
this
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 essay, major drawbacks of increasing the duration of weekends are going to be mentioned. At first glance, lowering the number of work
days
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 might seem a perfect idea, as workers would have the chance to spend more time with their families and enjoy their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 better.
However
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, we should
also
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 consider that different tasks are not done by themselves. In detail, the rise in the number of off
days
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, results in less time to complete any sort of jobs, especially the ones related to government and law.
For instance
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, banks and courts would be closed for about half of the week and a construction site would take much longer to be usable.
Moreover
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, schools are
also
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effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
 by
this
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 change, as an educational year needs to be around a month longer in order to finish all the subjects, if only a day was added to the weekends.
In addition
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, less time spent at work
also
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 contributes to lower payments, as many jobs specify the income based on the hours spent at work.
To conclude
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,
while
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 it can be a glory to get more rest, taking a closer look at its outcomes
such
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 as lower incomes, educational year extension and the slower pace in governmental tasks completion, would make me like the old style better.

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task response
While your introduction presents your viewpoint, try to clarify your thesis statement more explicitly. Including a brief outline of the main points that will be discussed in the essay can strengthen the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs clearly support your main argument and include transition phrases to guide the reader through your logic.
task response
In your conclusion, reiterate your main points briefly to reinforce your argument, rather than introducing new ideas.
task achievement
You provided specific examples such as the impact on schools and governmental tasks, which helps in illustrating your points.
coherence cohesion
Your writing maintains a reasonable level of vocabulary and complexity, reflecting a good grasp of the language.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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