IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvatages?

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Nowadays with the development and evolution of technology, driverless
vehicles
Use synonyms
 especially
cars
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 are no longer a dream or the product of imagination. Still, people are not taking them seriously
as per
Change preposition
due to
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 the fear of uncontrolled risks
such
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 as accidents
due to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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system breakdown or other general safety concerns. Yet, I hold an optimistic belief that these potential cons are solvable,
instead
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, resisting the advantages these
vehicles
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 can bring to our lives like extreme
convinience
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convenience
 and advanced
tachnology
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technology
 is a fool step back.
This
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 has been reported that the emergence of driverless
cars
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were
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was
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 pretty early in
2000s
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the 2000s
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 and the developers of
this
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 technology have
contantly
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constantly
improving
Wrong verb form
improved
show examples
 them.
However
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,
no
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not
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 many countries' governments
has
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have
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 agreed to bring them to life and grant them actual licences to be
availale
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available
 on the market
due to
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 the
responsbility
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responsibility
 they might have to take if these
vehicles
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will
Verb problem
do
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 not
be functioning
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function
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 accurately, or even
further
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, causing deaths to someone.
This
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 is the expected scenario since it is
cannot
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not
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believe
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believed
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. 
Nevertheless
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, the advantages of these future
vehicles
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 seem to be more of appreciation than of
concerns
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concern
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. With regards to people
whose
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who
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 do not genetically inherit the ability to become good drivers nor can improve it through
practices
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practice
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,
such
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cars
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 are just a game
changer
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changers
show examples
 to them. We may not know they exist but they they do and are
strugling
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struggling
everyday
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every day
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 as they have to rely on others to travel from one place to another. The elderly
is
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are
show examples
also
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 a part of
this
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 minority.
Additionally
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, features including self parking
is
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are
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 an upside as well. China, one of the first countries
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to recognise
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recognising
Verb problem
to recognise
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 and
Wrong verb form
permit
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permitting
Wrong verb form
permit
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this
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 trend to develop, has received positive feedback from the users as one of their big concerns, which is the inability to park their
cars
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 themselves skillfully, especially in cramped parking lots has been resolved.  In conclusion, it is understandable that
the
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apply
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new technology always
face
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faces
show examples
 objection and rejection in the first place as human beings have a
tendancy
Correct your spelling
tendency
of
Change preposition
to
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 change resistance.
Nonetheless
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, with many pros these driverless
vehicles
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 can contribute to our lives, it is surely that people have to gradually adapt, the same as the way they adapted to the internet or smart devices.

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is lacking coherence in some areas, where ideas are not clearly connected or logically sequenced. It is important to use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing which clearly separate ideas in order to guide the reader through the argument in a logical way.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but lack clarity in stating the main topic and summarizing the main points of the argument. An effective essay should have a clear introduction that sets out the topic and the writer's position, followed by body paragraphs that elaborate on the supporting arguments, and a conclusion that succinctly wraps up the discussion by restating the position and summarizing the main points.
coherence cohesion
You need to ensure that each main point is elaborated with sufficient support. Whether it's evidence, examples, or explanation, this supporting information should clearly relate to the main idea of each paragraph, which in turn reflects the overall position stated in the introduction.
task achievement
The response is incomplete as it does not fully address the question. Be sure to respond to all parts of the prompt, weigh the advantages against the disadvantages, and present a clear position on whether one outweighs the other.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more comprehensively by elaborating on how driverless vehicles will benefit or impact society. Use clear and elaborated explanations to demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Using specific, real-life examples strengthens your argument. You mention China's experience with driverless cars, but more detailed examples of the advantages or disadvantages in practice would give more weight to your points.
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