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Band 5

School children and student of all ages now use technology a great deal in their studies. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#school #children #student #ages #technology #studies #development
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In the contemporary era,
technology
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 has permeated every facet of our lives, reshaping the way we communicate, work, and navigate the world.
While
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 technological advancements bring about myriad benefits, it is imperative to scrutinize the potential drawbacks and consider how society can harness
this
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 omnipresent force responsibly. One of the primary advantages of
technology
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 lies in its ability to enhance communication. The advent of the internet and social media platforms has transformed the world into a global village, fostering connections across borders.
Additionally
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, technological innovations have revolutionized industries, streamlining processes, and improving efficiency.
For instance
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, automation in manufacturing has not only increased productivity but
also
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 contributed to safer working environments.
However
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, the widespread integration of
technology
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 brings forth challenges, particularly in the realm of privacy and ethics. With the prevalence of data-driven technologies, concerns about personal information security have become more pronounced. The ethical considerations surrounding artificial intelligence and machine learning algorithms raise questions about accountability and transparency. It is crucial to address these challenges to ensure that the benefits of
technology
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 are not outweighed by unintended consequences. Achieving a harmonious coexistence with
technology
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 necessitates a balanced approach. Governments and regulatory bodies play a pivotal role in establishing frameworks that safeguard individual privacy and ensure ethical standards in technological development. Simultaneously, fostering digital literacy among the populace empowers individuals to navigate the digital landscape responsibly. By striking
this
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 balance, society can harness the transformative power of
technology
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while
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 mitigating its potential pitfalls. In conclusion, the omnipresence of
technology
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 offers unparalleled opportunities for progress but requires vigilance to address the challenges it poses. Striking a balance between reaping the benefits and addressing ethical and privacy concerns is paramount. As we navigate the digital age, a thoughtful and responsible approach ensures that
technology
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 continues to serve as a catalyst for positive change rather than a source of unintended consequences.
Submitted by Vanurajput22 on

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task response
Your essay does not fully adhere to the specific topic of how technology affects school children and students in their studies. Ensure that your response is directly relevant to the question asked.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured but lacks a clear linkage to the actual topic. For coherence, make sure to keep your argument focused on the impact of technology in educational settings rather than general technological influence on society.
task response
To improve your task response, include specific examples or evidence of how technology's integration in education is either beneficial or detrimental. Your argument should be concrete and not only theoretically centered around the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your main points need to be supported with clear examples relevant to the educational context. Provide illustrations from real-life situations in schools or studies where technology plays a crucial role.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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