Topic: Governments shoud spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

One of the most important infrastructures to improve civilization is routes that connect different parts of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society
according to
their geographical zones.
Railways
and
roads
can be mentioned among them. Some individuals believe more
mony
Correct your spelling
money
should
be spend
Change the verb form
be spent
show examples
on
railways
rather than
roads
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will consider
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
of
this
idea and
also
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
of expanding
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
roads
. In a point of view,
railways
are for all population in a country and it
is not matter
Change the verb form
does not matter
show examples
where to
stalished
Correct your spelling
established
. It is used for many goals,
for instance
, either journeys or transporting goods.
In addition
, fast
transporting
Replace the word
transport
show examples
causes
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
speedy
developement
Correct your spelling
development
. In another point of view,
railways
need less budget to set up and
maintaining
Change the form of the verb
maintain
show examples
. So, with equal money
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
source
Add a comma
source,
show examples
more
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
show examples
will be made.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
the other hand, the
car making
Add a hyphen
car-making
show examples
industy
Correct your spelling
industry
which is the biggest industry in the world needs
roads
to
keeps
Wrong verb form
keep
show examples
its survival.
Also
, transporting by car and the related aspects permit individuals to consider their
favorites
Change the spelling
favourites
show examples
.
In addition
,
routs
Correct your spelling
routes
show examples
made by
roads
povide
Correct your spelling
provide
more facilities for
leasuring
Correct your spelling
leisure
time
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to
railways
. The thing to point out
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
,
roads
are used
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
non-infrustractures
Correct your spelling
non-infrastructures
non-infrastructure
of human being reality of life and they play roles as a kind of tools to provide more
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
for companies and other producers.
To sum up
, each
transporting
Replace the word
transportation
show examples
system has its value. In my opinion,
sience goverments
Correct your spelling
since governments
spend the wealth sources
belong
Wrong verb form
belonging
show examples
to
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
, they should
stablish
Correct your spelling
establish
more
railways
than
roads
. Because it helps human society to increase its facilities more than
roads
that are made just for
consumarization
Correct your spelling
consumption
.
Submitted by h.dibabiotech on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure by properly organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a clear main point. Consider using linking words and phrases to smoothly transition from one idea to the next and to highlight relationships between points.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but could be developed further. The introduction should explicitly state your position on the topic, and the conclusion should succinctly summarize your arguments and restate your stance. Aim to make these sections more impactful.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples. General statements should be enriched with precise details or statistics that can convincingly illustrate your argument and reinforce your position on the topic.
task achievement
Address the task directly by giving a well-explained argument whether you agree or disagree, with corresponding reasons. Expand on these points to fully develop your essay. Avoid general statements that do not directly contribute to the argument.
task achievement
Strive to present clear and comprehensive ideas by developing each argument thoroughly, making sure they are relevant to the essay prompt, and avoiding repetition or overly general statements.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant and specific examples that are directly related to your arguments and the topic at hand. Such examples significantly strengthen your essay by demonstrating real-world application and validity of your points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: