IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What effect will this have on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is an unfortunate truth that many
criminals
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 persist in a life of
crime
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 after being in jail.
This
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 is largely
due to
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 an unwillingness of
society
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 to accept ex-convicts, which harms the economy and causes an increase in
crime
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victims
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. Owing to a lack of job opportunities once out of prison, most former prisoners feel insecure
in
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about
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 their future. Many finish with a prison record which puts off recruitment managers at major corporations who often feel ex-offenders are untrustworthy.
As a result
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, in the United States, almost
three quarters
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three-quarters
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 of all ex-inmates turn to
crime
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 within five years of leaving prison.
Additionally
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,
society
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 is frequently reluctant to welcome back ex-prisoners. Former
criminals
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 report difficulty finding apartments to rent or even applying for financial aid to fund their education.
This
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 causes many to feel that a criminal life is their only option. Reoffending hurts both the economy and those
victims
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 of
crime
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. When former
criminals
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reoffend
Correct your spelling
re-offend
, more tax dollars must be spent on re-incarceration, legal fees and maintaining prisoners in jail. As re-offenses continue, budgets for other government programs
such
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 as education or social services must be cut to make up for increased expenses. Reoffending
also
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 results in more
crime
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victims
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, many of whom face a lifetime of torment from the trauma created by
crime
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. The more
victims
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 there are, the more pressure that citizens put on governments to maintain a safe
society
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 which causes more police and overcrowding in prisons which studies show only makes the issue worse. In conclusion, an uncertain future and hostile
society
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results
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result
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 in more
crime
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, more
victims
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 and more expense to the
tax payer
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taxpayer
show examples
. Only through changing attitudes will
criminals
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 ever be given the chance to have a future and avoid turning back to
crime
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.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains a clear main idea and supporting details. The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, but supporting paragraphs need further development to enhance logical structure.
task achievement
You have addressed the task, but could provide a more in-depth exploration of the causes and effects to enrich the content of the essay. Relevant, detailed examples, particularly personal or widely recognised ones, could significantly enhance the response.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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