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Band 4

Some people think that the goverment should provide free education at every level. Howeve, some say that individuals should pay for their university education. Discuss both views and give youe opinion

#people #goverment #education #level #howeve #say #individuals #university #youe
Some societies argue that
education
 should be free by the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 all
stage
Fix the agreement mistake
stages
show examples
.
Instead
, the
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 say that the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should not pay for university
level
. In my point of view, free
education
 at every
level
 is a good
ways
Change the noun form
way
show examples
 to improve
eductional
Correct your spelling
education
educational
 in
this
 country.
Furthermore
,
education
 in university should be free for
individuals
 who are unable to pay for reasons of poverty. It will be discussed in
this
 essay below.
Firtsly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
,
education
 is an important thing and become a vital part
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the future. In fact, someone who
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to get a good job,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
must have
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
education
.
However
, if the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 free
education
 for all
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
, it will help students to continue their
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
.
For instance
, a student cannot go on their academic because their parents do not have enough money.
Due to
 the policy, they can continue their
education
 until senior high school.
Finally
,
this
 policy has
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 influence
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 who want to
studying
Change the verb
study
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 stage.
Secondly
, some
individuals
 consider that
education
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
uneversity
Correct your spelling
university
 must be paid for
each
Change preposition
by each
show examples
 student.
Nevertheless
, I suppose that
thwe
Correct your spelling
the government
goverment
 should provide free cost or open a scholarship for
individuals
 who are unable to pay
fo
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
reason
Correct article usage
the reason
show examples
 of poverty.
For example
,
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
 people think that students who want to enroll in a
collage
Correct your spelling
college
show examples
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have to
provide
Verb problem
pay
show examples
 enough cost. It is not
fai
Correct your spelling
fair
 for
individuals
 who do not have it.
Hence
, the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should pay the fee
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
education
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
Correct article usage
the unversity
show examples
unversity
Correct your spelling
university
level
 because of that reason. To
sump
Correct your spelling
sum
show examples
 up, I totally believe that free
education
 for each
level
 should be implemented as soon as possible.
Furthermore
, students whom they cannot pay the cost of university
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 should be assisted by the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
.
These policy
Change the determiner
This policy
These policies
show examples
 will
increace
Correct your spelling
increase
 the
educational
Replace the word
education
show examples
 in 
this
 country.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
Be mindful of paragraph structure and logically organize your ideas to enhance coherence. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea, followed by supporting arguments or examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion are present. The introduction should outline the primary argument or viewpoint and the conclusion should summarize the main points discussed without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points more thoroughly. Support each viewpoint with stronger reasoning or more specific examples to justify the arguments made.
task achievement
For a higher score in task achievement, ensure that you have addressed all parts of the task with relevant, extended and supported ideas. Clear comprehension of the prompt is crucial.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant, specific examples to support your arguments. The inclusion of illustrative examples can enhance the persuasive aspect of your essay and better demonstrate your understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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