IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

News stories on TV and newspapers are very often accompanied by pictures. Some people say that these pictures are more effective than words. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#news #stories #tv #newspapers #pictures #people
It is argued that
pictures
 are far more influential than spoken or written words, especially,
pictures
 on
news
 stories on media or printed
news
. I completely agree with
this
 opinion as I believe that images can be recognized more easily and they can affect people's emotions deeply. On the one hand, visual sources can be understandable for a wider range of individuals
due to
 two dominant reasons.
Firstly
, in terms of psychology, the mind can scan, realize, and remember photos immediately
while
 understanding texts sometimes can be difficult.
For example
, all of us know that teachers try to teach information by using
pictures
 or even diagrams to be able to convey concepts accurately in an attractive way.
Thus
,
news
 with images not only stimulates people's curiosity but
also
 would be more comprehensive for illiterate folks.
Secondly
, our visual memory has outperformed other aspects of the brain as when we see a picture, it can be evoked quickly and vividly
whereas
, speaking and writing remain in our memory for a short time.
For instance
, when it comes to talking about earthquakes, photos related to citizens in Kermanshah who end up with
this
 overwhelming phenomenon appear in my head.
Thus
, visual
news
 can provoke our feelings and impress us emotionally.
On the other hand
, the
news
 which is read or listened to wouldn't impact readers and listeners as long as those which can be seen. One of the main disadvantages of
typed
Wrong verb form
typing
show examples
news
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 magazines and newspapers is that most of them aren't elaborated to be able to be visualized in our mind. It is human nature to imagine something to interpret and recognize it.
Also
, many people don't pay attention to written
news
 and skip them unless they come across an attractive photo.
As a result
,
news
 should be accompanied by
pictures
 to attract more audience and be effective. In conclusion, in my opinion, every
news
 should involve
pictures
 to stick in mind and appeal to listen and read.
Submitted by kmibehnaz98 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas. Some connections between ideas may need to be clarified to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Inclusion of an introductory statement to establish the topic and a conclusion to summarise the main points was effectively achieved.
coherence cohesion
More sophisticated linkage of ideas with a wider range of cohesive devices could contribute to a higher coherence score.
task achievement
Task achievement criterion considers the response to the prompt, the extent of the development of the argument, and the completeness of the response. Your essay addressed the task and provided relevant arguments.
task achievement
Ideas were clear and comprehensive, yet strive to develop complexity with increased precision in argumentation for a higher band.
task achievement
Incorporate a broader range of specific examples to support your points for higher achievement in task response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • empathize
  • instantaneous comprehension
  • irrefutable evidence
  • transcend language barriers
  • overreliance
  • oversimplification
  • misinformation
  • desensitizing
  • nuance
  • in-depth analysis
  • symbiotic relationship
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