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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart shows the results of surveys in one African country asking teenagers the main reasons for using their phones between 2016 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows the results of surveys in one African country asking teenagers the main reasons for using their phones between 2016 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie charts illustrate the four major reasons for mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 usage among African teenagers that took place between 2016 and 2019. At first glance, it is clearly evident that social
networks
Use synonyms
 have always increased over the 4-year period.
While
Linking Words
phone
Use synonyms
 calls can be seen to decline considerably. In 2016, 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of social
networks
Use synonyms
 stood up as the highest reason for African teenagers to use their mobile phones.
Although
Linking Words
 there was a slight dip in 2017 by 2%, the proportion of social
networks
Use synonyms
 managed to keep growing until 2019, recorded at 56%.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 served the social
networks
Use synonyms
, which remained the biggest proportion compared to the other three reasons.
Phone
Use synonyms
 calls,
on the other hand
Linking Words
,
initially
Linking Words
 secured the lowest position as the reason for mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 usage, registered at 10%.
Although
Linking Words
 there was an increase
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 3% in 2017, the trend has continued to fall dramatically in the subsequent 2 years,
settled
Wrong verb form
settling
show examples
 at 5% in 2019.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 marked the
phone
Use synonyms
 calls as having the consistency to become the smallest proportion of the other three reasons.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, although".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words phone, networks with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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