Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is universally acknowledged that the majority of adults and children start to shift their concepts of work and learning from attending physical places to online ones.

That is

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due to

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the considerable price and seamless accessibility that

technology

Use synonyms

has to offer.

However

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, I believe

this

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is a negative development because of the additional financial burden

Change preposition

show examples

acquiring new devices and the lack of physical

interaction

Use synonyms

. Since COVID-19,

technology

Use synonyms

has found its way to make it more reachable to society by setting up

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cheap cost and easy

access

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, the

technology

Use synonyms

companies are

also

Linking Words

supported by the local government in settling the price, which was intended not to distress people.

In addition

Linking Words

, public internet company

such

Linking Words

as IndiHome

also

Linking Words

plays a crucial role in providing fast networking

access

Use synonyms

. To cite an example, there was a government programme called #DiRumahAja, which was established to encourage people to do their work from home.

Therefore

Linking Words

, having to spare more budget allocations to buy devices and limited

access

Use synonyms

to physical social

interaction

Use synonyms

are two main reasons why working from home is deemed to develop negative outcomes. To

further

Linking Words

explain, a family with a total of three school-age children has to accommodate three new devices in order to support learning activities.

Thus

Linking Words

, it will lead to a financial burden for some families. In regard to a lack of social

interaction

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, adults and children who have to sit in front of their

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

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on a daily basis will acquire fewer skills to communicate.

According to

Linking Words

the

journal

Capitalize word

Journal

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brain neurology

Correct your spelling

Brain Neurology

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, screen time of more than 5 hours per day is prone to weakening our linguistic ability.

To conclude

Linking Words

technology

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surely provides a considerable price and easy

access

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to all of its users.

But

Correct word choice

However

show examples

it has made negative progress in relation to the financial burden for some people and the inability to experience offline

interaction

Use synonyms

chastinervineSat Jan 06 2024

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task achievement

Develop each main point more fully with extended arguments or explanations in order to provide a more nuanced perspective.

coherence cohesion

Utilize a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to ensure that paragraphs and sentences are logically connected for a smoother flow of ideas.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to substantiate your arguments and enhance the essay's persuasiveness.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

remote work
e-learning
accessibility
inclusive
productivity
personalized learning
disciplined routine
interpersonal skills
cybersecurity
sustainability
work-life balance
physical disabilities

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communicatio outweigh the disadvantage?

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?