Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Opinions differ regarding
study
Correct article usage
the study
show examples
additional
Change preposition
of additional
show examples
subjects
alongside their primary academic focus.
While
a group of
students
attend to acquire knowledge in all
subjects
, there is another group of
students
who prefer to focus and spend all their
time
just on
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
subject to get a specific qualification.
This
essay agrees that learning many
subjects
will broaden
students
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
and have many benefits for
students
. Some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
at universities like to follow different courses not only
relates
Wrong verb form
related
show examples
to their
subjects
but
also
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
other field
Change the wording
another field
other fields
show examples
of
study
.
This
is
due to
the fact that having information in many
subjects
helps the pupils to be creative, have the ability to
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
and critical thinking or
time
management in their life and jobs.
For example
, a process
engineers
Fix the agreement mistake
engineer
show examples
who has the ability of simulation and programming can easily create their model without needing to
computers
Change the noun form
computer
show examples
student,
subsequently
save
Wrong verb form
saving
show examples
more
time
instead
of
waste
Replace the word
wasting
show examples
time
on
transfer
Change the verb form
transferring
show examples
her idea to someone else in order to apply.
On the other hand
,
There
Fix capitalization
there
show examples
is a group who wishes to
study
strictly
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their own program to be more experienced in that field. Since
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some
students
studying many
subjects
together may lead to distraction from the main point,
instead
they prefer to go
in depth
Add a hyphen
in-depth
show examples
knowledge with their subject and gain more experience on that.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
a student who
study
to become a
chief
Correct your spelling
chef
show examples
could be more successful if
allocate
Correct subject-verb agreement
allocates
show examples
hie
Correct your spelling
his or her
show examples
time
and
focus
Correct subject-verb agreement
focuses
show examples
on
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
quality that he/
she
Correct word choice
or she
show examples
serves. In conclusion
Add a comma
,
show examples
However
, student by spending most of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
time
on their own major may help them to become expertise in that, but
students
can broaden
the
Change the word
their
show examples
horizon of thinking
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
joining
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many subject courses and
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
show examples
quicky
Correct your spelling
quickly
show examples
in their own
filed
Correct your spelling
field
show examples
.
Submitted by kikinaeli97 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay struggles with logical structure due to the lack of clear paragraphing and progression of ideas. Ensure each new point is started with a new paragraph and that there is a logical flow from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
While an introduction and conclusion are present, they should encapsulate the main points more succinctly and should be clearer in stating your position on the issue at hand.
coherence cohesion
Main points should be better supported with clear, well-developed examples or explanations. Avoid vague statements; instead, provide more concrete evidence that firmly supports your argument.
task achievement
Task achievement requires a complete response to the prompt, including a discussion of both views and your own opinion. Make sure to cover all the necessary aspects of the question in equal measure and conclude with a clear position.
task achievement
Ideas should be expressed more comprehensively, with a clearer progression from introduction, body to conclusion. Strive for clarity above all, avoiding overly complex and tangential thoughts.
task achievement
The use of relevant and specific examples is crucial for illustrating your points. The essay could benefit from incorporating more detailed examples that are directly related to the topic and further the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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