Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Opinions differ regarding
study
Correct article usage
the study
additional
Change preposition
of additional
subjects
alongside their primary academic focus. While
a group of students
attend to acquire knowledge in all subjects
, there is another group of students
who prefer to focus and spend all their time
just on own
subject to get a specific qualification. Correct pronoun usage
their own
This
essay agrees that learning many subjects
will broaden students
’ mind
and have many benefits for Fix the agreement mistake
minds
students
.
Some of
Change preposition
apply
students
at universities like to follow different courses not only relates
to their Wrong verb form
related
subjects
but also
in
Change preposition
to
other field
of Change the wording
another field
other fields
study
. This
is due to
the fact that having information in many subjects
helps the pupils to be creative, have the ability to problem solving
and critical thinking or Add a hyphen
problem-solving
time
management in their life and jobs. For example
, a process engineers
who has the ability of simulation and programming can easily create their model without needing to Fix the agreement mistake
engineer
computers
student, Change the noun form
computer
subsequently
save
more Wrong verb form
saving
time
instead
of waste
Replace the word
wasting
time
on transfer
her idea to someone else in order to apply.
Change the verb form
transferring
On the other hand
,There
is a group who wishes to Fix capitalization
there
study
strictly on
their own program to be more experienced in that field. Since Change preposition
in
for
some Change preposition
apply
students
studying many subjects
together may lead to distraction from the main point, instead
they prefer to go in depth
knowledge with their subject and gain more experience on that. Add a hyphen
in-depth
For
instance
a student who Add a comma
instance,
study
to become a chief
could be more successful if Correct your spelling
chef
allocate
Correct subject-verb agreement
allocates
hie
Correct your spelling
his or her
time
and focus
on Correct subject-verb agreement
focuses
food
quality that he/Correct article usage
the food
she
serves.
In conclusionCorrect word choice
or she
Add a comma
,
However
, student by spending most of the
Change the word
their
time
on their own major may help them to become expertise in that, but students
can broaden the
horizon of thinking Change the word
their
with
joining Change preposition
by
in
many subject courses and Change preposition
apply
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
quicky
in their own Correct your spelling
quickly
filed
.Correct your spelling
field
Submitted by kikinaeli97 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The essay struggles with logical structure due to the lack of clear paragraphing and progression of ideas. Ensure each new point is started with a new paragraph and that there is a logical flow from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
While an introduction and conclusion are present, they should encapsulate the main points more succinctly and should be clearer in stating your position on the issue at hand.
coherence cohesion
Main points should be better supported with clear, well-developed examples or explanations. Avoid vague statements; instead, provide more concrete evidence that firmly supports your argument.
task achievement
Task achievement requires a complete response to the prompt, including a discussion of both views and your own opinion. Make sure to cover all the necessary aspects of the question in equal measure and conclude with a clear position.
task achievement
Ideas should be expressed more comprehensively, with a clearer progression from introduction, body to conclusion. Strive for clarity above all, avoiding overly complex and tangential thoughts.
task achievement
The use of relevant and specific examples is crucial for illustrating your points. The essay could benefit from incorporating more detailed examples that are directly related to the topic and further the argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?