People face far greater risks in the modern way of life than they did in the past. How far do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In the rich source of fairy tales that spread worldwide, "The Little Mermaid" is considered to be one of the best romantic stories. The story puts the context about the brave and gorgeous mermaid named Ariel, she desired to explore the upper world love day to day. One time, on her first journey to the upper land, she fell in love with Prince Eric. After that, by following her heart, she made a deal with witch Ursula to exchange her beautiful voice for a pair of legs which provided her the mobility on land.

Simple

Rephrase

As simple

show examples

as the trade

maybe

Correct your spelling

may be

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, her father's authority and

also

Linking Words

her

life

Use synonyms

were endangered. Despite her mistake, Ariel saves her father and spends her

life

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in her true love. In my opinion, the best part of the story is the conversation between Ariel and intrigued Ursula.

This

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is not only an example of making decisions wisely but

also

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associated with the marketing rule, called:" put all your eggs in one basket" which reminds people to be more proactive, confident, and reckless in making their

life

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decisions. Standing on a social viewpoint,

this

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exerts the negative side of society that people are spending almost their

life

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in running the "rat race" which halts them from development and success. On balance, The Little Mermaid is a masterpiece not only in the literature but

also

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worth a lesson in a world full of cynicism and rivalry.

Submitted by [email protected] on Sun Jan 07 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks an effective logical structure - it does not follow a clear, organized progression of ideas. Additionally, there is no clear introduction and conclusion to frame your discussion about the risks people face in the modern way of life.

task achievement

The essay does not adequately address the IELTS task; it does not provide a direct response to the question of whether people face greater risks now than they did in the past. More focus on the task and a clearer position on the topic are required.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

237 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cybersecurity
data privacy
environmental challenges
climate change
pollutants
biodiversity
stress-related illnesses
sedentary lifestyle
obesity
medical science
safety regulations
emergency services
information access
risk management
lifestyle diseases
technological advancements

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People face far greater risks in the modern way of life than they did in the past. How far do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In many countries, fast food is becoming cheaper and more widely available. Why is it so? What measures can be taken to encourage people to eat more healthy food?

Globalization promotes cultural exchange and understanding by facilitating interactions between people from different backgrounds. This can foster tolerance, diversity, and cross-cultural collaboration.

In some countries, more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this question?

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?