Many people feel that all teenagers should have to do unpaid work during their free time to help the local community and for the benefit of society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #work #time #community #benefit #society

Some believe of the opinion that

adolescent

Fix the agreement mistake

adolescents

show examples

should join

local

Add an article

the local

show examples

community

in their leisure time,

while

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

convinced that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

teenagers do not need to do that.

This

essay will express complete agreement with the first viewpoint and will justify how

this

will be beneficial for their own improvement. It seems undeniable that

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

Verb problem

apply

show examples

a social beings that need others to rely on. Linked to

this

fact, helping each

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

must be the core intention for every

individuals

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individual

show examples

including

adolescent

Fix the agreement mistake

adolescents

show examples

Change the preposition

show examples

the end, every job

that

is exist

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exists

show examples

in the world will give feedback

for

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show examples

everyone. A teacher,

for instance

, they will teach and give knowledge

for

Change preposition

show examples

the students. All of the

job

Change to a plural noun

jobs

show examples

will get

salary

Correct article usage

a salary

show examples

as they carry a benefit to

citizen

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citizens

show examples

Instead

of wasting their leisure time on

gadget

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gadgets

show examples

, it will be great for

juvenile

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juveniles

show examples

to do positive

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

join

Change the verb form

joining

show examples

local

Add an article

the local

show examples

community

Although

this

job is unpaid, stripling who join

local

Add an article

the local

show examples

community

will get some

benefit

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benefits

show examples

upgrade

Wrong verb form

upgrading

show examples

their interpersonal and

problem solving

Add a hyphen

problem-solving

show examples

skills.

For instance

charity

Add an article

a charity

the charity

show examples

that is

held by a local

community

will help others to solve social problems and

rise

Correct your spelling

raise

show examples

the quality of life. In conclusion, it has been argued in

this

essay that

gather

Wrong verb form

gathering

show examples

with

local

Add an article

the local

show examples

community

will be good for the juvenile to fulfil their free time rather than doing something unbeneficial. It is because

this

activity possibly

increase

Change the verb form

increases

show examples

their

self development

Add a hyphen

self-development

show examples

Submitted by joyapakpahan on Sun Jan 07 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay does not effectively demonstrate a clear logical progression of ideas. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic, and that subsequent sentences logically support that topic. Transitions between ideas and paragraphs should be smooth and clear.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be strengthened. The introduction should clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the prompt, and the conclusion should succinctly sum up your argument. Aim to make your position and reasoning clearer throughout your essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

While you do support your main points, the supports are not fully developed. To improve, provide more detailed examples and explanations, and fully elaborate on how each point supports your argument. This will enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.

Task Achievement

There is a response to the task, but it could be more complete. To improve, make sure to address all parts of the task prompt thoroughly. Analyze the statement given and clearly express to what extent you agree or disagree with it.

Task Achievement

Your ideas are there but they are not always comprehensive or fully clear. Take the time to fully flesh out your points and make sure they are easily understood. Avoid broad statements and strive for clarity in your argumentation.

Task Achievement

Your essay could benefit from more relevant and specific examples. Make sure your examples are directly tied to the point you're making and elaborate on them to show how they support your argument. This will make your essay more compelling and insightful.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

231 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people feel that all teenagers should have to do unpaid work during their free time to help the local community and for the benefit of society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Many people think that the behavior of professional sportsmen off the field is not important as long as they are good players. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those time than they are now.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.