Many people feel that all teenagers should have to do unpaid work during their free time to help the local community and for the benefit of society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some believe of the opinion that
adolescent
should join Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
local
Add an article
the local
community
in their leisure time, while
other
convinced that Fix the agreement mistake
others
the
teenagers do not need to do that. Correct article usage
apply
This
essay will express complete agreement with the first viewpoint and will justify how this
will be beneficial for their own improvement.
It seems undeniable that human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
is
a social beings that need others to rely on. Linked to Verb problem
apply
this
fact, helping each others
must be the core intention for every Change to a singular noun
other
individuals
including Change to a singular noun
individual
adolescent
. Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
At
the end, every job Change the preposition
In
that
is exist
in the world will give feedback Change the verb form
exists
for
everyone. A teacher, Change preposition
to
for instance
, they will teach and give knowledge for
the students. All of the Change preposition
to
job
will get Change to a plural noun
jobs
salary
as they carry a benefit to Correct article usage
a salary
citizen
.
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
Instead
of wasting their leisure time on gadget
, it will be great for Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
juvenile
to do positive Fix the agreement mistake
juveniles
activity
like Fix the agreement mistake
activities
join
Change the verb form
joining
local
Add an article
the local
community
. Although
this
job is unpaid, stripling who join local
Add an article
the local
community
will get some benefit
like Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
upgrade
their interpersonal and Wrong verb form
upgrading
problem solving
skills. Add a hyphen
problem-solving
For instance
, charity
Add an article
a charity
the charity
that is
held by a local community
will help others to solve social problems and rise
the quality of life.
In conclusion, it has been argued in Correct your spelling
raise
this
essay that gather
with Wrong verb form
gathering
local
Add an article
the local
community
will be good for the juvenile to fulfil their free time rather than doing something unbeneficial. It is because this
activity possibly increase
their Change the verb form
increases
self development
.Add a hyphen
self-development
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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay does not effectively demonstrate a clear logical progression of ideas. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic, and that subsequent sentences logically support that topic. Transitions between ideas and paragraphs should be smooth and clear.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be strengthened. The introduction should clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the prompt, and the conclusion should succinctly sum up your argument. Aim to make your position and reasoning clearer throughout your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
While you do support your main points, the supports are not fully developed. To improve, provide more detailed examples and explanations, and fully elaborate on how each point supports your argument. This will enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
Task Achievement
There is a response to the task, but it could be more complete. To improve, make sure to address all parts of the task prompt thoroughly. Analyze the statement given and clearly express to what extent you agree or disagree with it.
Task Achievement
Your ideas are there but they are not always comprehensive or fully clear. Take the time to fully flesh out your points and make sure they are easily understood. Avoid broad statements and strive for clarity in your argumentation.
Task Achievement
Your essay could benefit from more relevant and specific examples. Make sure your examples are directly tied to the point you're making and elaborate on them to show how they support your argument. This will make your essay more compelling and insightful.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?