Many people feel that all teenagers should have to do unpaid work during their free time to help the local community and for the benefit of society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some believe of the opinion that

adolescent

Fix the agreement mistake

adolescents

show examples

should join

local

Add an article

the local

show examples

community

Use synonyms

in their leisure time,

while

Linking Words

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

convinced that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

teenagers do not need to do that.

This

Linking Words

essay will express complete agreement with the first viewpoint and will justify how

this

Linking Words

will be beneficial for their own improvement. It seems undeniable that

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

Verb problem

apply

show examples

a social beings that need others to rely on. Linked to

this

Linking Words

fact, helping each

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

must be the core intention for every

individuals

Change to a singular noun

individual

show examples

including

adolescent

Fix the agreement mistake

adolescents

show examples

Linking Words

Change the preposition

show examples

the end, every job

that

Linking Words

is exist

Change the verb form

exists

show examples

in the world will give feedback

for

Change preposition

show examples

everyone. A teacher,

for instance

Linking Words

, they will teach and give knowledge

for

Change preposition

show examples

the students. All of the

job

Change to a plural noun

jobs

show examples

will get

salary

Correct article usage

a salary

show examples

as they carry a benefit to

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

Instead

Linking Words

of wasting their leisure time on

gadget

Fix the agreement mistake

gadgets

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, it will be great for

juvenile

Fix the agreement mistake

juveniles

show examples

to do positive

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

join

Change the verb form

joining

show examples

local

Add an article

the local

show examples

community

Use synonyms

Although

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

job is unpaid, stripling who join

local

Add an article

the local

show examples

community

Use synonyms

will get some

benefit

Fix the agreement mistake

benefits

show examples

upgrade

Wrong verb form

upgrading

show examples

their interpersonal and

problem solving

Add a hyphen

problem-solving

show examples

skills.

For instance

Linking Words

charity

Add an article

a charity

the charity

show examples

that is

Linking Words

held by a local

community

Use synonyms

will help others to solve social problems and

rise

Correct your spelling

raise

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the quality of life. In conclusion, it has been argued in

this

Linking Words

essay that

gather

Wrong verb form

gathering

show examples

with

local

Add an article

the local

show examples

community

Use synonyms

will be good for the juvenile to fulfil their free time rather than doing something unbeneficial. It is because

this

Linking Words

activity possibly

increase

Change the verb form

increases

show examples

their

self development

Add a hyphen

self-development

show examples

joyapakpahanSun Jan 07 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay does not effectively demonstrate a clear logical progression of ideas. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic, and that subsequent sentences logically support that topic. Transitions between ideas and paragraphs should be smooth and clear.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be strengthened. The introduction should clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the prompt, and the conclusion should succinctly sum up your argument. Aim to make your position and reasoning clearer throughout your essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

While you do support your main points, the supports are not fully developed. To improve, provide more detailed examples and explanations, and fully elaborate on how each point supports your argument. This will enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.

Task Achievement

There is a response to the task, but it could be more complete. To improve, make sure to address all parts of the task prompt thoroughly. Analyze the statement given and clearly express to what extent you agree or disagree with it.

Task Achievement

Your ideas are there but they are not always comprehensive or fully clear. Take the time to fully flesh out your points and make sure they are easily understood. Avoid broad statements and strive for clarity in your argumentation.

Task Achievement

Your essay could benefit from more relevant and specific examples. Make sure your examples are directly tied to the point you're making and elaborate on them to show how they support your argument. This will make your essay more compelling and insightful.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

231 words

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Many people feel that all teenagers should have to do unpaid work during their free time to help the local community and for the benefit of society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

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Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that the best way to stay fit is to join a gym/health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. Discuss both views and give your opinion.