Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is argued whether
childrens'
Change noun form
children's
schedule
Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
on
leisure Change preposition
for
activities
should be managed by their Use synonyms
parents
or themselves. I completely agree with the latter view that infants Use synonyms
shoud
have their own freedom to select their free Correct your spelling
should
time
Use synonyms
action
. Fix the agreement mistake
actions
This
essay will discuss both notions Linking Words
along with
my opinions.
It makes Linking Words
parents
feel assured that their Use synonyms
children
are engaging in useful tasks.
Most youngsters Use synonyms
are
allocate their leisure Unnecessary verb
apply
time
to playing with their friends or watching television, Use synonyms
instead
of engaging in actions that can Linking Words
taught
them functional skills, which makes Change the verb form
teach
be taught
parents
see those Use synonyms
such
a waste of Linking Words
time
. Use synonyms
Consequently
, they feel responsible Linking Words
to direct
their heirs to Change preposition
for directing
involve
in certain Wrong verb form
be involved
activities
that benefit them in the long run, Use synonyms
thus
it is acceptable that some of them opt to manage their Linking Words
childrens'
free Change noun form
children's
time
Use synonyms
activities
. It can be seen through phenomena in South Korea, where Use synonyms
parents
are happier when find out their Use synonyms
children
ended up in additional classes rather than theme Use synonyms
park
after school Fix the agreement mistake
parks
time
. Albeit Use synonyms
that is
a good reason at some point, I see that as Linking Words
an
unfair treatment for Correct article usage
apply
children
since there can be a potential feeling that they actually do not want to perform certain Use synonyms
activities
because not suit Use synonyms
with
their Change preposition
apply
interest
.
On the converse statement, I completely support the idea Fix the agreement mistake
interests
for
the Change preposition
of
childerns'
liberty to choose their own free Correct your spelling
children'
time
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
because
several reasons. Change preposition
for
Firstly
, Linking Words
children
can learn to be independent. During that process, infants learn that they can decide things on their own without Use synonyms
have
to rely on Change the verb form
having
the
others, Correct article usage
apply
thus
they are able to Linking Words
navigating
their own path. Change the verb
navigate
Secondly
, it can develop their thinking skills. Linking Words
Children
may be faced with many options Use synonyms
to
things that they want to do, Change preposition
for
therefore
they should start to eliminate and Linking Words
able
to prioritize Add a missing verb
be able
activities
that fit with their agenda, which involves Use synonyms
reflecting
process where they can develop thinking ability. Correct article usage
a reflecting
Finally
, Linking Words
children
learn to be responsible Use synonyms
with
their own choices. Youngsters will learn how to put their decisions into devoted actions. Change preposition
for
For example
, when a boy already Linking Words
decide
to practice football skills during Change the verb form
decides
mean
period, Add an article
the mean
the
must allocate their Correct your spelling
they
time
and energy to do the chosen action.
Use synonyms
To conclude
, organizing Linking Words
timetable
for Correct article usage
a timetable
children
regarding their break Use synonyms
time
can give Use synonyms
parents
Use synonyms
feel
of reassurance that their Wrong verb form
a feeling
children
will Use synonyms
doing
useful Change the verb form
do
be doing
activities
. Use synonyms
Nevertheless
, I think giving them full authority to decide on that task will benefit more on their character development.Linking Words
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Task response
Ensure that your essay includes a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each part of your essay should play a specific role. Your introduction should set the stage for the discussion and provide a clear opinion. Your body paragraphs should each focus on one main idea, providing examples and explanations. Your conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your opinion clearly.
Coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, make use of cohesive devices to better connect ideas and paragraphs. Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic that is developed thoroughly before moving on to the next idea. This will help the logical flow of the essay.
Task response
Your essay lacked specific examples to support your main points. Including relevant, detailed examples strengthens your arguments and helps the examiner understand the reasons behind your views. It's important that your examples are specific and directly relate to the topic discussed.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example