Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is argued whether
childrens'
Change noun form
children's
schedule
Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
on
leisure Change preposition
for
activities
should be managed by their parents
or themselves. I completely agree with the latter view that infants shoud
have their own freedom to select their free Correct your spelling
should
time
action
. Fix the agreement mistake
actions
This
essay will discuss both notions along with
my opinions.
It makes parents
feel assured that their children
are engaging in useful tasks.
Most youngsters are
allocate their leisure Unnecessary verb
apply
time
to playing with their friends or watching television, instead
of engaging in actions that can taught
them functional skills, which makes Change the verb form
teach
be taught
parents
see those such
a waste of time
. Consequently
, they feel responsible to direct
their heirs to Change preposition
for directing
involve
in certain Wrong verb form
be involved
activities
that benefit them in the long run, thus
it is acceptable that some of them opt to manage their childrens'
free Change noun form
children's
time
activities
. It can be seen through phenomena in South Korea, where parents
are happier when find out their children
ended up in additional classes rather than theme park
after school Fix the agreement mistake
parks
time
. Albeit that is
a good reason at some point, I see that as an
unfair treatment for Correct article usage
apply
children
since there can be a potential feeling that they actually do not want to perform certain activities
because not suit with
their Change preposition
apply
interest
.
On the converse statement, I completely support the idea Fix the agreement mistake
interests
for
the Change preposition
of
childerns'
liberty to choose their own free Correct your spelling
children'
time
activities
because
several reasons. Change preposition
for
Firstly
, children
can learn to be independent. During that process, infants learn that they can decide things on their own without have
to rely on Change the verb form
having
the
others, Correct article usage
apply
thus
they are able to navigating
their own path. Change the verb
navigate
Secondly
, it can develop their thinking skills. Children
may be faced with many options to
things that they want to do, Change preposition
for
therefore
they should start to eliminate and able
to prioritize Add a missing verb
be able
activities
that fit with their agenda, which involves reflecting
process where they can develop thinking ability. Correct article usage
a reflecting
Finally
, children
learn to be responsible with
their own choices. Youngsters will learn how to put their decisions into devoted actions. Change preposition
for
For example
, when a boy already decide
to practice football skills during Change the verb form
decides
mean
period, Add an article
the mean
the
must allocate their Correct your spelling
they
time
and energy to do the chosen action.
To conclude
, organizing timetable
for Correct article usage
a timetable
children
regarding their break time
can give parents
feel
of reassurance that their Wrong verb form
a feeling
children
will doing
useful Change the verb form
do
be doing
activities
. Nevertheless
, I think giving them full authority to decide on that task will benefit more on their character development.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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Task response
Ensure that your essay includes a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each part of your essay should play a specific role. Your introduction should set the stage for the discussion and provide a clear opinion. Your body paragraphs should each focus on one main idea, providing examples and explanations. Your conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your opinion clearly.
Coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, make use of cohesive devices to better connect ideas and paragraphs. Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic that is developed thoroughly before moving on to the next idea. This will help the logical flow of the essay.
Task response
Your essay lacked specific examples to support your main points. Including relevant, detailed examples strengthens your arguments and helps the examiner understand the reasons behind your views. It's important that your examples are specific and directly relate to the topic discussed.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example