Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children).

#people #community #service #part #school #programs #charity #neighborhood #sports #children

I would like to express my views with respect to the given topic is whether paid or free

services

should be a compulsory part of high school programmes or not based on the different opinions in society.

To begin

with, I agree with

this

activity, where the teenagers or higher school students are involved in the

sence

Correct your spelling

sense

science

of empathy and become more social towards

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

humanity.

The community

Correct article usage

Community

show examples

services

give chance to students to learn the awareness of necessary things and to

get

Verb problem

become

show examples

more attentive

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

basic

responsebilities

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

Secondly

young

Add an article

the young

show examples

generation can come

across

Change preposition

apply

show examples

to understand the reality of

world

Correct article usage

the world

show examples

and values of the empathy.

In addition

Change preposition

apply

show examples

, Many NGOs are

also

participating

these

Change preposition

in these

show examples

kinds of activities irrespective of the

ages

Fix the agreement mistake

age

show examples

and

situations

Fix the agreement mistake

situation

show examples

. These social and practical experiences give

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

moral support to all individuals.

Along with

this

for instance

Change preposition

apply

show examples

one of the U.S based Articles, revealed that 80

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

genration

Correct your spelling

generations

are happy to help

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

in participation and

also

impact

Add an article

the impact

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

several

aspect

Change to a plural noun

aspects

show examples

of the

mindness

Correct your spelling

mindedness

and mindedness respectively.

Likewise

, Many developed countries have

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

free

services

with many government and private schools.

However

, few people think that It should not be part of

curriculum

Add an article

the curriculum

show examples

education

Add an article

the education

show examples

system because many paid communities are performing well with

thrie

Correct your spelling

their

three

own practical experience and knowledge and they have proper

schedule

Fix the agreement mistake

schedules

show examples

for these programmes

Change preposition

show examples

particular locations.

To conclude

, no doubt, Paid communities are contributing a lot in

this

regards

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regard

show examples

with enthusiastic volunteers but

along with

those, free community

services

also

Add a missing verb

are also

show examples

a mandatory part High school curriculum.

Submitted by preetiaug25 on Sun Jan 07 2024

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task achievement

Your essay attempts to address the question, but the response is somewhat superficial. You should ensure to delve deeper into the topic, providing thorough explanations and well-developed arguments. It is critical to extend and support your ideas with relevant specific examples, which were lacking in your essay.

coherence cohesion

While you structure your essay into paragraphs, there are issues with the logical flow and clarity. Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea, and use cohesive devices to show the relationship between sentences and ideas. Avoid overly complex sentence structures that may not be clear.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

compulsory
unpaid community service
charity
neighborhood improvement
teaching sports
empathy
social justice
transferable skills
teamwork
leadership
problem-solving
civic duty
civic engagement
educational enhancement
practical experiences
academic learning
real-world applications
social cohesion
mutual support
time management
balancing priorities

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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children).

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You are going abroad on holiday and your friend will stay in your home while you are away. Write a letter to your friend, in your letter - explain where you hide the keys - describe what your friend needs to do in your absent - say when you are coming back

Future plans to design prisons for learning and working, with bigger cells containing computers that will enable study and communication, have been criticized for trying to turn prisons into "holiday campus" and "wasting taxpayers' money". To what extent do you agree or disagree with these views?

WRITING TASK 2 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? You should write at least 250 words.

In some cities public parks and open space are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruits and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Q: Many people think living in high-rise apartment blocks makes people feel lonely and unhappy, while others argue that it has advantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion?