Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children).

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I would like to express my views with respect to the given topic is whether paid or free
services
Use synonyms
should be a compulsory part of high school programmes or not based on the different opinions in society.
To begin
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with, I agree with
this
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activity, where the teenagers or higher school students are involved in the
sence
Correct your spelling
sense
science
of empathy and become more social towards
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humanity.
The community
Correct article usage
Community
show examples
services
Use synonyms
give chance to students to learn the awareness of necessary things and to
get
Verb problem
become
show examples
more attentive
the
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to the
show examples
basic
responsebilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
.
Secondly
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,
young
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the young
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generation can come
across
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apply
show examples
to understand the reality of
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
and values of the empathy.
In addition
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to
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apply
show examples
, Many NGOs are
also
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participating
these
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in these
show examples
kinds of activities irrespective of the
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
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and
situations
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situation
show examples
. These social and practical experiences give
the
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apply
show examples
moral support to all individuals.
Along with
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this
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,
for instance
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,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one of the U.S based Articles, revealed that 80
percent
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per cent
show examples
of
young
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the young
show examples
genration
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generations
are happy to help
government
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the government
show examples
in participation and
also
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impact
Add an article
the impact
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of
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apply
show examples
several
aspect
Change to a plural noun
aspects
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of the
mindness
Correct your spelling
mindedness
and mindedness respectively.
Likewise
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, Many developed countries have
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
free
services
Use synonyms
with many government and private schools.
However
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, few people think that It should not be part of
curriculum
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the curriculum
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in
education
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the education
show examples
system because many paid communities are performing well with
thrie
Correct your spelling
their
three
own practical experience and knowledge and they have proper
schedule
Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
show examples
for these programmes
on
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in
show examples
particular locations.
To conclude
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, no doubt, Paid communities are contributing a lot in
this
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regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
show examples
with enthusiastic volunteers but
along with
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those, free community
services
Use synonyms
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
a mandatory part High school curriculum.
Submitted by preetiaug25 on

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task achievement
Your essay attempts to address the question, but the response is somewhat superficial. You should ensure to delve deeper into the topic, providing thorough explanations and well-developed arguments. It is critical to extend and support your ideas with relevant specific examples, which were lacking in your essay.
coherence cohesion
While you structure your essay into paragraphs, there are issues with the logical flow and clarity. Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea, and use cohesive devices to show the relationship between sentences and ideas. Avoid overly complex sentence structures that may not be clear.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • neighborhood improvement
  • teaching sports
  • empathy
  • social justice
  • transferable skills
  • teamwork
  • leadership
  • problem-solving
  • civic duty
  • civic engagement
  • educational enhancement
  • practical experiences
  • academic learning
  • real-world applications
  • social cohesion
  • mutual support
  • time management
  • balancing priorities
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