Many peape work long hours, leaving very ittle time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or disadvantages?
Nowadays,the
condistion
of the economy become a reason for Correct your spelling
condition
conditions
to
people Change preposition
apply
spend
more Wrong verb form
spending
time
in the workplace.For many this
habit is relevant to earning more money
and for Fix the agreement mistake
others
other
it is for personal interest.Add a comma
other,
However
,there are more pros and cons to deciding to do this
.In this
essay, I will discuss some of the reasons why many people work
long hours with some examples.
Let's begin by looking at the advantages of working a lot, One
of the main benefits of working more time
than regularly is, that when you work
more you earn more money
. As you know, you give money
for every hour of work
when you work
more hours you earn more money
and it is a major reason for this
issue.
Secondly
,working a lot can be a reason to progress in workstyle and sometimes can develop a lifestyle .Take ordinary staff for example
.In all companies, one
of the standards is your try about your task, if you work
harder you can develop your position.In other words
, you chose your position with
your effort.
Turning to the other side of the argument, this
situation can be proof of a
depression.when you pay more attention to your Correct article usage
apply
work
and do not attention to your regular life
and family you become a robot
and can not Add a missing verb
be interest
interest
in anything. what's Replace the word
interested
more
you do not have any aim and everything sense repetitively.
Another issue is that Add a comma
more,
life
happens one
time
,when do not enjoy it on time
you can not enjoy another time
.Many people believe that the worth of life
is more to ruin
it with hard Change preposition
than ruining
work
.In addition
,working is a facility to create a nice life
but when you focus more than its value you lose more particular things which is called life
.
All things considered , Everyone one
should Correct pronoun usage
apply
work
to reach their aim. You can handle it and don’t press to your self
which logical scheme.Personally,I think living is the most valuable thing in the world and nothing is worth destroying its significant Correct your spelling
yourself
work
.Submitted by bahram.azizzade on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear logical structure and the ideas presented are not always logically sequenced, which impacts the overall coherence. To improve this, make sure to organize your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a central topic. Use linking words to connect your ideas and paragraphs more effectively.
coherence cohesion
While you have an introduction and a conclusion, they could be clearer to establish and summarize your arguments. Work on creating a more impactful thesis statement and a conclusive summary that restates your main points and gives a final opinion.
task achievement
Your essay partially addresses the task, providing some explanation for why people might choose to work long hours. However, you could strengthen your argument by providing more relevant supporting examples and elaborating further on both the advantages and disadvantages to give a balanced view.
task achievement
Your ideas are presented but sometimes lack clarity and are not explored comprehensively. To improve, focus on explaining your ideas with more depth, providing clearer reasoning, and ensuring that your arguments are both precise and cogent. Avoid vague statements that do not contribute to your argument.
task achievement
Use specific examples to illustrate your points. This enhances the persuasiveness of your essay. To improve, you could provide real life examples or hypothetical situations demonstrating the advantages and disadvantages of working long hours. Balance these examples to reflect a nuanced understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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